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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, my now ex-boyfriend informed me that he is cheating on me with our neighbor, again. I wasn't aware that he cheated on me the first time. FML

Today, I came inside a girl's vagina by accident. Neither one of us wants her to be pregnant, and I had to spend half an hour with her sitting on my face, while I sucked my own cum out of her. I don't even know if this will work. FML

#21524955
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7517) - you deserved it (39963)

On 02/10/2016 at 9:12pm - intimacy - by nickncik (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, one of my friends made it to school. He has been sick recently, missing days out of the week. When I saw him, I greeted him with, "Were you dying yesterday?" Apparently he wasn't, but his grandmother really did. FML

#21524937
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15201) - you deserved it (3268)

On 02/10/2016 at 8:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, instead of reaching for some unhealthy food, I tried to eat some dates instead. It was all fine until I bit one in half and saw a rather large, squirming maggot inside. FML

#21524824
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18890) - you deserved it (1551)

On 02/10/2016 at 1:36pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, after months of daily migraines and doctor's visits, I've now been told that my "temporary" hearing loss has nothing to do with my migraines, nor is it temporary at all. FML

#21524813
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18324) - you deserved it (1091)

On 02/10/2016 at 12:49pm - health - by make america date again (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, there was an issue with the sewage system at work. It smelled like somebody took a turd, left it in the sun to marinate, threw up on it, then put in the air conditioning to fill the store with nauseating stink. I nearly threw up multiple times because we weren't allowed to leave early. FML

#21524799
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16540) - you deserved it (1081)

On 02/10/2016 at 11:57am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my aunt informed me that my dad thinks my boyfriend is a loser deadbeat because he hasn't proposed to me after two years of dating and co-habitation. He hasn't asked because I already made it very clear I have no interest in marriage. FML

#21524771
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17240) - you deserved it (3833)

On 02/10/2016 at 10:32am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while driving around with my brother and his idiotic friends, one of them decided it would be a brilliant idea to throw a hot sauce packet out of the car window at a moving vehicle. I've never seen someone angry enough to stop and get out of a vehicle that fast. FML

Today, I was called a "Potato" for at least the 30th time by people online for living in Idaho. I've lived here my whole life, I have yet to see a potato farm. None of these people has even left the East Coast. FML

#21524651
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15379) - you deserved it (1794)

On 02/10/2016 at 12:08am - misc - by ApparentlyaPotato (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I met up with my 'on again, off again' girlfriend of 4 years that I'm still madly in love with. We've been broken up for a few months and she's been dating someone else. We talked about possibly trying things again. When I got home, I found out she's engaged. FML

#21524584
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16698) - you deserved it (3656)

On 02/09/2016 at 9:29pm - love - by lovehurts - United States (Michigan)

Today, I visited my son at his university accommodations and noticed he's clearly never cleaned it since he moved in two years ago. I tried cleaning it myself, but gave up entirely when I found what looked like mushrooms growing out of an old takeout container. FML

#21524464
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17424) - you deserved it (1981)

On 02/09/2016 at 4:35pm - kids - by Pauline (woman) - United States

Today, some jackass decided that using the back of my car to slow down was easier than using his brakes. FML

#21524385
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16767) - you deserved it (1106)

On 02/09/2016 at 11:54am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got into a car accident. The other driver was going so fast that when we hit, our cars positioned themselves to make it look like it was all my fault. He keeps blaming me for everything and the position of the cars doesn't help. FML

#21524343
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19232) - you deserved it (1232)

On 02/09/2016 at 7:39am - misc - by Anon - United States (Ohio)



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