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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I'm babysitting for kids whose parents said they would be back by 12. Its 4am and they still aren't home. I don't get paid enough for this. FML

#21435758
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (2516) - you deserved it (175)

On 07/03/2015 at 5:09am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, while swimming in my neighborhood pool, I noticed what looked like several cigarettes resting at the bottom and decided to investigate. Turns out it was actually just a used, bloody tampon that had spent enough time underwater to be broken into multiple pieces, and spread across the pool. FML

#21435503
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5233) - you deserved it (407)

On 07/02/2015 at 6:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I told my parents I'm pregnant. I got a long lecture from my mom about using protection. It would have been fine hearing all that, but I'm turning 22, I've been moved out for a few years, have a full time job with great benefits, and am getting married next summer. FML

#21435425
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8022) - you deserved it (1319)

On 07/02/2015 at 3:16pm - misc - by I'm an adult! - United States (Washington)

Today, I was sent to the principal's office because I refused to take my earbuds out. Those "earbuds" are my hearing aids. FML

#21435419
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17508) - you deserved it (825)

On 07/02/2015 at 2:59pm - misc - by Deaf - United States (California)

Today, my neighbor yelled at me for driving recklessly. I was going 35 mph, and she was stopped in the middle of a road around a blind curve. My "reckless driving" was slamming on the brakes so I wouldn't hit her. FML

#21435393
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13401) - you deserved it (934)

On 07/02/2015 at 2:00pm - misc - by _whyy_mee (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I heard my skinny 14-year-old daughter tell her friend, "Ugh, I wish I had leukemia or something so that I could lose weight." Yes, she actually said that. FML

Today, after helping run salads and bread to a table, they demanded I do something about the bug problem. I would've been more understanding if they hadn't chosen to sit outside. FML

#21435223
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17340) - you deserved it (1103)

On 07/02/2015 at 2:40am - work - by smokecloud_ - United States (Ohio)

Today, my long-distance boyfriend came to see me and told me that he had a surprise for me. I was excited at the idea of a romantic gesture, but forgot about it until he arrived and things began heating up. As I was removing his pants, I said, "Ooh, you shaved!" to which he replied, "Surprise!" FML

#21435204
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15774) - you deserved it (2230)

On 07/02/2015 at 1:53am - intimacy - by mirandale (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, after replacing several components on my new used car, I realized that the reason it wasn't getting the gas mileage it was supposed to because my coworkers take turns siphoning my gas while I work. FML

#21435168
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18287) - you deserved it (1057)

On 07/02/2015 at 12:16am - work - by thatshelpful - United States (Iowa)

Today, I found out where my sister's pet lizard escaped to. I also found out that the little shit likes to hide in dark, cold places. I discovered this when I heard the bastard squeal as I started the lawnmower. FML

#21435132
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16499) - you deserved it (1370)

On 07/01/2015 at 11:10pm - animals - by Alex Andreas - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I sent the girl I like flowers, only to have her later post a picture of them online, saying, "ha when losers send you flowers". FML

#21435086
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20486) - you deserved it (1470)

On 07/01/2015 at 10:04pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my flight was at the other side of the airport. I ran to the gate, to find that the flight had moved to the other side of the airport. So I ran again to miss my plane by a minute. However I did get a new flight... at the other end of the airport. FML

#21434898
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17872) - you deserved it (1180)

On 07/01/2015 at 3:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, we had a long meeting at work about how we are supposed to feel safe, and to come to the managers if we have any problems. I decided to speak up about a coworker that has been harassing me and several others. My manager laughed at me and walked away. FML



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