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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from United Kingdom

Today, I met my father for the first time since I was a baby. The first comment out of his mouth was, "I bet all the boys love those motherfucking bazongas, don't they?" Hi, Dad. FML

#14396481
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44765) - you deserved it (3471)

On 12/30/2010 at 2:23pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, my friend commented on my short skirt and, thinking she was being funny, tried to pull it down. I quickly moved away, causing it to come off in her hands. My shocked scream attracted the attention of at least a dozen bystanders. FML

#14395971
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20300) - you deserved it (6867)

On 12/30/2010 at 1:21pm - misc - by glam300 - United Kingdom

Today, I caught my mom trying to get secretly smashed out of her brain-box on booze at 8:00am. FML

#14389262
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19478) - you deserved it (2575)

On 12/30/2010 at 12:08am - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that when I thought the bullying had finally stopped, the bullies had actually been sponsored to be nice for charity. FML

#14380457
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22902) - you deserved it (2212)

On 12/29/2010 at 8:19am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, I was on a crowded bus on the way back from my boyfriend's when I suddenly had a terrible nose bleed. I had no tissues, so instead I had to use last night's underwear from my bag. FML

#14366968
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24398) - you deserved it (4715)

On 12/28/2010 at 5:47am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I discovered that my girlfriend of two years has been cheating on me for over five months, including while I was deployed to Afghanistan. FML

Today, I found out apparently I sleep walk. My boyfriend has been filming me and uploading it all to Youtube. FML

#14356668
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27424) - you deserved it (4116)

On 12/27/2010 at 12:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, I tried to contact my birth mother, who abandoned me when I was three weeks old. After months of tracing, I finally plucked up the courage to call her. She told me to "f*ck off and die". FML

#14310097
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50002) - you deserved it (6674)

On 12/23/2010 at 11:13am - misc - by unfortunategeek - United Kingdom

Today, I was waiting for my food at McDonald's. I watched the most obese, sweaty man sneeze into the chips, wipe his nose on his hand and use his hand to shovel chips into a bag. They were my chips. FML

#14297288
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30897) - you deserved it (5138)

On 12/22/2010 at 11:28am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (North Yorkshire)

Today, the highlight of my day was someone prank-calling me. FML

#14297205
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21065) - you deserved it (4971)

On 12/22/2010 at 11:19am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Barnsley)

Today, I looked deep into my wife's eyes and told her how much I loved her and how much she meant to me. Her reply was "Clean your glasses." FML

#14284829
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28386) - you deserved it (3846)

On 12/21/2010 at 12:25pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my 14 year-old son sent a broadcast on my blackberry saying ''I'm a young gay man looking for some fun!'' to all my contacts as a joke. What he didn't know was that it's my work phone. FML

#14284329
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35360) - you deserved it (5018)

On 12/21/2010 at 11:18am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, it was my first day on a £600 a week job. I was fired for being 10 minutes late. FML

#14272532
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9601) - you deserved it (57348)

On 12/20/2010 at 1:08pm - work - by Chloe - United Kingdom (London)



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