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FMLs submitted from United Kingdom

Today, my boss called me into his office and bitched me out for a good half hour for my attitude to our customers. Apparently I always look pissed off and sound sarcastic. That's just my face at rest. FML

#17530831
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26843) - you deserved it (5322)

On 08/20/2011 at 5:36pm - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Solihull)

Today, I took my Catholic girlfriend home to meet my family for the first time. My brother thought it would be civil to spend over an hour insulting her religion and explaining in detail the many ways in which "the Force" is superior. FML

#17521930
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31694) - you deserved it (5537)

On 08/19/2011 at 6:36pm - love - by Jace - United Kingdom (Aberdeen City)

Today, I was diagnosed with crabs. I lost my virginity to my wife, and have never had sex or any sexual contact with anyone but her in my life. FML

#17521607
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50978) - you deserved it (4366)

On 08/19/2011 at 5:57pm - intimacy - by jimmy - United Kingdom (London)

Today, after a tennis lesson, the coach was picking up the stray tennis balls around the court. Trying to be helpful, I asked him, "Do you want me to grab your ball bag?" His eyeballs almost burst out of their sockets. FML

#17512926
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30379) - you deserved it (8021)

On 08/18/2011 at 8:18pm - intimacy - by BigmouthStrikesAgain (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I walked in on my parents discussing how to kill our cat, and how to make it look like an accident. FML

#17508595
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41843) - you deserved it (3321)

On 08/18/2011 at 9:38am - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Bexley)

Today, I got accepted into University onto a course I don't want to do, but my parents said they would disown me if I didn't go. I believe them: they haven't spoken to my shop assistant sister in about three years now. FML

#17507560
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33845) - you deserved it (2849)

On 08/18/2011 at 4:45am - work - by Academia (woman) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)

Today, my family decided it would be hilarious to catch the biggest moths they could and let them loose in my room. I'm terrified of moths and they thought it would be 'funny as hell' to watch me freak out. FML

#17505369
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29115) - you deserved it (4889)

On 08/18/2011 at 12:02am - misc - by livgasms - United Kingdom

Today, I introduced my parrot to oranges. Now she makes a high pitched scream if I don't give her any, and I've just run out of oranges. FML

#17489385
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28633) - you deserved it (10838)

On 08/16/2011 at 11:00am - misc - by bursteardrums (woman) - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, I heard that a boy in my class had written a song about me. Intrigued, I went to see him perform. I spent 3 excruciating minutes listening to a song about 'the girl of his dreams', his tear-filled eyes staring into mine the whole time. I have to sit next to this freak for the next 2 years. FML

#17488999
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16712) - you deserved it (53431)

On 08/16/2011 at 9:20am - love - by worried (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I biked 15 km to my girlfriend's house in really heavy rain to surprise her. Turns out she's on holiday in Spain, and hadn't bothered to tell me. FML

#17487465
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35783) - you deserved it (4435)

On 08/16/2011 at 2:44am - love - by 800z - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, my 3 year old son's tricycle was stolen. I looked up the street and saw a neighbour's kid riding it. I marched up, gently lifted him off it, gave him a stern lecture about stealing and brought the tricycle back home. The cops then showed up. Apparently, the kid has an identical tricycle. FML

#17481344
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14519) - you deserved it (37407)

On 08/15/2011 at 3:14pm - kids - by ollie179 - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, my religious parents were hosting a family dinner. Not only did we have to wait over an hour for my grandma to finally show up, but when she did, she had her 30 year old boytoy in tow. Apparently, "Granny has needs too you know, hahaha!" Goodbye peaceful family. FML

#17471582
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28682) - you deserved it (3123)

On 08/14/2011 at 4:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, I went to a party. I tried dancing in public for the first time ever. Judging by the whispers, stares and giggles, I'm never doing it again. FML

#17465639
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29959) - you deserved it (4968)

On 08/14/2011 at 12:50am - misc - by Travolta - United Kingdom



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