Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from United Kingdom

Today, while at a boring lecture, I heard some people behind me whispering and laughing. I turned around, wondering what was so funny, which made them laugh even more. I then realised it looked like I'd been giving my pen a blowjob for the last 10 minutes. FML

#15386188
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20062) - you deserved it (33118)

On 03/19/2011 at 5:37pm - intimacy - by gayboii (man) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I was on Facebook, looking at pictures from a party I went to. In most of them, I was sitting on the sofa, my shorts bunched to the side, with half my vajayjay on show. FML

#15381782
317 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19849) - you deserved it (63349)

On 03/19/2011 at 11:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I found out that when I orgasm, my increased heart rate causes me to pass out. I also found out my boyfriend doesn't stop when I'm unconscious. FML

#15379416
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54675) - you deserved it (8011)

On 03/19/2011 at 6:32am - intimacy - by anonymous - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I went on a date, the first one I've been on since my last boyfriend broke up with me 6 months ago. We were in a restaurant, and at the end of meal he insisted on paying the bill. He wanted to leave a 15% tip but couldn't work out in his head how much to leave. The bill was for £100. FML

#15336709
350 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26635) - you deserved it (13776)

On 03/16/2011 at 1:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my new boyfriend was at my flat for the first time. He picked up something in the bathroom and said 'What the hell's this?'. I told him what it was for, and he said 'You girls and your weird female products. Who needs all this stuff?'. It wasn't a female thing. It was shampoo. FML

#15311271
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34112) - you deserved it (4166)

On 03/14/2011 at 7:45pm - misc - by cleangirl (woman) - United Kingdom (Fife)

Today, I found out the reason my boyfriend dumped me was because his parents don't like the fact that I go to a prestigious university. However, they're completely accepting of the drunken slob who's dating their daughter. FML

#15294376
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35371) - you deserved it (3438)

On 03/13/2011 at 3:17pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, my friend convinced me that a staple gun doesn't work on skin. I decided to put this new piece of information to the test. FML

#15239631
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8465) - you deserved it (92652)

On 03/08/2011 at 10:50am - misc - by ouch (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I threw up when I woke up, feeling quite ill, I told my mum. She instantly thought I was pregnant. I'm still a virgin and she doesn't believe me. FML

#15229346
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33899) - you deserved it (3224)

On 03/07/2011 at 1:17pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Stoke-on-Trent)

Today, before setting off on my train journey I checked my booking. The (non-refundable) return date was a week later than I intended, and after buying a new ticket online, I was informed that I would be able to collect it in 2 hours. I leave in an hour. I'll have to pay three times to come home. FML

#15225098
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21042) - you deserved it (11769)

On 03/07/2011 at 12:38am - money - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I discovered that my Facebook profile picture, of me between my boyfriend and a friend, is actually me between my boyfriend and the girl he has been cheating on me with. FML

#15220903
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51067) - you deserved it (3972)

On 03/06/2011 at 7:27pm - intimacy - by ocean555 (woman) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)

Today, I was getting ready for a date when I noticed a spot on my chin. To get rid of it, I applied my sister's spot cream rather than picking it off. Within minutes, my entire chin looked like a swollen tomato. FML

#15187189
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25995) - you deserved it (6544)

On 03/03/2011 at 4:18pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, it's my birthday. My parents, whom I live with, told me that they did not get me anything, but instead they said they would knock off a bit of the housekeeping I owe them. FML

#15185278
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24228) - you deserved it (7601)

On 03/03/2011 at 9:21am - money - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was informed that due to my cat being aggressive and attacking the postman several times, my mail would no longer be delivered to my address. I don't own a cat. FML

#15160394
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35594) - you deserved it (2384)

On 03/01/2011 at 5:41am - animals - by notacatperson (woman) - United Kingdom (Plymouth)



FML's blog

  • Angie's illustrated FML
  • Here we go again. This week I'm talking to you live from the Paris Japan Expo. I'm dressed up as Bernard from the Sailor Moon series, and I almost got kicked out because my katana wasn't the…

Friday 3 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: