FMLs submitted from United Kingdom

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to put his penis in a hole in our bedroom wall. FML

by Anonymous / 12/25/2011 at 7:07pm / United Kingdom (Southampton) / Intimacy

Today, I attended my extended family's Christmas dinner. All throughout, my grandmother kept complaining about how the food tasted like crap, and making sexual remarks such as how "the stuffings were far better in my day, if you know what I mean." FML

by Anonymous / 12/25/2011 at 3:38pm / United Kingdom (Coventry) / Miscellaneous

Today, is Christmas day. Normally, I'd spend it with family. However, my boss decided everyone has to work today, despite the fact that there's enough people who want to work to run the place. Apparently it's "fairer" if we all have to do it - except him. FML

by Anonymous / 12/25/2011 at 1:25am / United Kingdom (Cornwall) / Work

Today, I wrapped my boyfriend's Christmas presents for him, because he was too lazy to do it himself. This included my own present. FML

by lovinglife / 12/24/2011 at 7:51am / United Kingdom / Love

Today, I used so many different perfume testers that I passed out on the bus. FML

by justnance / 12/22/2011 at 1:04pm / United Kingdom (London) / Health

Today, I started undressing in front of my boyfriend. He politely said, "Excuse me, please" because I was blocking the T.V. FML

by lalala / 12/22/2011 at 12:26pm / United Kingdom (Croydon) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend told me love is like a drug. I started tearing up because this is the most romantic he has been in a while. He then went on to break up with me, telling me that my "prescription is up". FML

by Jean / 12/22/2011 at 3:09am / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Love

Today, I had to sit and listen to my co-worker moan about how early he has to get up tomorrow to go on his ski holiday in France over Christmas. He also complained about how tiring skiing is. FML

by dogwheels / 12/20/2011 at 6:54am / United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne) / Work

Today, I came to the conclusion that my dad must have had a psychotic break, because when I came home, he was wearing sunglasses indoors, and blasted out Skrillex music all through the evening. The sound of diarrhea pouring into a gutter would make for better music than this. FML

by fmT719 / 12/18/2011 at 6:48pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend of two years broke up with me. Why? His best mate got dumped yesterday and my boyfriend thought it would be 'more fun' to be 'single lads together'. FML

by dumped / 12/14/2011 at 6:00pm / United Kingdom / Love

Today, after returning to the UK from my Australian holiday, I was fired from my job for no reason. My boss told me he'd waited till I'd returned to do it. I could have stayed in Australia with my mates traveling for a year if I had been fired before I left. I'm sure he did it on purpose. FML

by Anonymous / 12/14/2011 at 11:53am / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Holidays

Today, I called in sick at work because I have the flu. This is my first sick day in the 2 years I've worked there. It's also the day the CEO made a surprise visit. My co-workers all got generous salary increases, and some of them promotions. I'm not included, simply because I wasn't there. FML

by rara1989 / 12/13/2011 at 7:15am / United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was out selling Christmas-themed calendars for charity door-to-door. I rang a doorbell and a wild-eyed man appeared at the door, shouted about being "on nights" and that I'd woken him up, called me a "bell end", threw a newspaper at me and slammed the door in my face. FML

by firemansam / 12/12/2011 at 6:36am / United Kingdom (Kent) / Miscellaneous