Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from United Kingdom

Today, I heard that there's a rumour going around that I was caught masturbating while crying at a party after the girl I liked got with someone else. FML

#7946481
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16832) - you deserved it (2140)

On 02/06/2010 at 7:28pm - intimacy - by anon - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I received our gas bill for about £200. My flatmate felt that this was extortionate and therefore phoned up our gas company and angrily told them to recalculate the bill. They did. We now owe £300. FML

#7930001
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18719) - you deserved it (3968)

On 02/06/2010 at 7:40am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)

Today, I started a new job, it was going well until I was asked to stand up and be introduced to a company director. I had a hard on. FML

#7928576
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14281) - you deserved it (4741)

On 02/06/2010 at 4:29am - intimacy - by Bacular (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was giving a class presentation, when I suddenly sneezed so hard I wet myself. FML

#7780958
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30836) - you deserved it (3396)

On 02/01/2010 at 2:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that whilst I was asleep last night, my boyfriend was playing on his XBox. I also found out that whenever he unlocked a new level, achievement or just generally beat someone's ass, he would celebrate by pulling out one of his pubes and putting it in my mouth. FML

#7773873
409 comments

I agree, your life sucks (101042) - you deserved it (11755)

On 02/01/2010 at 5:23am - misc - by doesnttastegood (woman) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, while at a party, Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'" started playing. For being the only one who didn't know the lyrics, I had beer thrown on me, my shirt stolen, and I was locked outside for half an hour. It's below freezing. FML

#7742822
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17543) - you deserved it (31320)

On 01/31/2010 at 12:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I caught my boyfriend cheating so I broke up with him. As revenge he threw my PS3 and XBox out of the window when I wasn't in our house. I got those consoles out of the spare money my three jobs had brought in - the same three jobs I had to get because he refused to get a job of his own. FML

#7702902
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34793) - you deserved it (7363)

On 01/30/2010 at 10:17am - love - by GamerGirl (woman) - United Kingdom (St. Helens)

Today, I was woken up by my own fart. FML

#7698820
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10135) - you deserved it (30869)

On 01/30/2010 at 3:47am - misc - by Wowsers. (woman) - United Kingdom (Blackpool)

Today, I decided to cut class with one of my friends and we ended up going to Burger King. As we sat down at the table, I heard my name being called. My mum was getting lunch through the drive thru with my little brother and saw my car parked out front. FML

#7675609
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6058) - you deserved it (34106)

On 01/29/2010 at 2:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Kirklees)

Today, I found out that shouting 'arsehole' at a speeding car is not a good idea. Two chavs MIGHT just turn around, drive onto the pavement and push you into a bush. FML

#7640098
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8099) - you deserved it (21083)

On 01/28/2010 at 10:43am - misc - by Daivv (man) - United Kingdom (Somerset)

Today, I was in a tense tiebreak round to win the local pub quiz. As the quizmaster read out more clues, I got the answer, got up and rushed to be the first team to the bar. I tripped, faceplanted. The whole bar laughed, and then I realized that it wasn't a "fastest to the bar" round. FML

#7607297
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4897) - you deserved it (14580)

On 01/27/2010 at 3:24am - misc - by pubquizgenius (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was at my Muay Thai class. We were doing a combination which consisted of a low kick, body kick and head kick. My partner had already done the low kick so I held the pads for the body kick. He kicked me straight in the jaw. I'm a teenage girl and he's a fully grown man. FML

#7586565
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28168) - you deserved it (3115)

On 01/26/2010 at 7:55am - health - by anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: