FMLs submitted from United Kingdom

Today, I accidentally called my teacher "Babe". FML

by randomgirl / 01/07/2012 at 9:12am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother thought it would be a good idea to tell me that I was conceived on an airplane toilet. FML

by Gemma / 01/06/2012 at 6:16pm / United Kingdom (Lancashire) / Intimacy

Today, I was on Skype with the guy I like. After a while of being on Facebook I forgot I was on webcam to him and started picking my nose. He ended the call. FML

by louise / 01/05/2012 at 2:35pm / United Kingdom (Bristol) / Love

Today, I was on the train listening to my iPod on shuffle. The "Oompa Loompa" song came on, and slightly amused, I started humming it. It wasn't until I noticed that the man next to me was a midget that I understood the horrified looks I was getting. FML

by lorahayes / 01/05/2012 at 1:39pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend dumped me, all because he's scared of my mother. FML

by Anonymous / 01/05/2012 at 11:58am / United Kingdom (London) / Love

Today, my dad had a day off and was 'bored' so he decided to move our entire kitchen into our living room. We now have no running water, no oven that works and the entire house is a bombsite. He has an entire week off. FML

by mazzer / 01/03/2012 at 9:04pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I ignored my phone, as my mother has dementia and calls me 15 or so times a day, thinking each time is the first. I braved horrendous rain and gale-force winds to go to work. Turns out it was work calling to tell me not to bother coming in. FML

by sparkx555 / 01/03/2012 at 11:07am / United Kingdom (London) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I told my parents that I wanted to donate blood. My dad helpfully interjected, "Sorry, they don't accept blood from gingers." FML

by GingerJ / 01/01/2012 at 8:22pm / United Kingdom (London) / Health

Today, I decided to write a romantic email to my boyfriend describing how much I love and miss him. An hour later, I got an email back saying, "I think we need to discuss this." It seems I sent it to my teacher by mistake. FML

by mjbx / 01/01/2012 at 2:02pm / United Kingdom (Peterborough) / Love

Today, in the spirit of Christmas, I let a spider live in my room. I normally kill them, because I'm scared of waking up with one on my face. I woke up with it on my face. FML

by Anonymous / 12/28/2011 at 12:03pm / United Kingdom (Sheffield) / Miscellaneous

Today, I ran into an attractive friend of a friend who I hadn't seen since a night out last month. I tried my best to be friendly and interesting, but he still seemed awkward. Later I find out that last time he saw me, I was blind drunk and vomiting after propositioning him all evening. FML

by Anonymous / 12/28/2011 at 10:03am / United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 18-year-old son asked me if I was a virgin. I still don't know what to say to him. FML

by blegh / 12/27/2011 at 4:50pm / United Kingdom (London) / Intimacy

Today, I got hit by a car. My friends left me to get to the hospital myself. The cab was double fare. FML

by Sophie / 12/26/2011 at 11:21pm / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Transportation