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FMLs submitted from United Kingdom

Today, my ex, for whom I still have feelings, introduced me to his new girlfriend. To make things "less awkward," he invited a mutual friend of ours. However, the last time I'd seen this friend, it was a week after my ex and I had broke up, and we hooked up. Awkward doesn't cover it. FML

#21501584
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21049) - you deserved it (5163)

On 12/08/2015 at 6:08pm - love - by neverleavingthehouseagain (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I confronted my friend about the £260 he owes me. He got offended and said, "Friends don't have to pay back." He called me selfish and walked off. FML

#21501579
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21854) - you deserved it (2014)

On 12/08/2015 at 5:56pm - money - by *sigh* - United Kingdom

Today, after years of loneliness, I met the most amazing girl on Omegle. We spoke for ages and really clicked. But before either of us could exchange numbers, I lost my internet connection and her along with it. FML

#21500041
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23946) - you deserved it (3084)

On 12/04/2015 at 2:00pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I punched a drunk woman who kept trying to force herself onto my husband. She turned out to be an off-duty cop. FML

#21498941
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27744) - you deserved it (3507)

On 12/01/2015 at 2:02pm - misc - by BUSTED. - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I felt like Cinderella. No, I didn't lose a shoe in public. Nor did I dance with Prince Charming. But I did get a visit from tiny wild mice in my home. FML

#21498518
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20450) - you deserved it (2558)

On 11/30/2015 at 11:07am - animals - by ModernCindy - United Kingdom (Blackpool)

Today, I won a meal for two in a raffle. I had no one to go with. FML

#21496724
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22483) - you deserved it (2002)

On 11/25/2015 at 4:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, I've spent nearly three weeks indulging my boyfriend's weird fetish, where he wears a hockey mask and I call him Jason. He just confessed it isn't really a fetish for him and that was just fucking with me. He's already told all his friends. I'm humiliated. FML

#21495098
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30445) - you deserved it (4166)

On 11/21/2015 at 7:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, the local gossip was in line behind me at the shop. She saw me buying pregnancy tests. The good news is that I'm not pregnant. The bad news is that she'll definitely have everyone thinking I am. FML

#21494835
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20933) - you deserved it (2025)

On 11/20/2015 at 12:20pm - misc - by notpregnantthankgod - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, while working at the bar, I accidentally spilled a beer on my chest. Several drunk men whistled and seemed to enjoy what they saw so much that they bought even more drinks and started coming onto me. My boss asked if I could do it again on my next shift. FML

#21493622
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25661) - you deserved it (2600)

On 11/17/2015 at 1:34pm - misc - by anon. - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my roommate came home after a night of heavy drinking and started urinating on my bed. When I confronted him, he just slurred, "Sorry, thought it was my bed." FML

#21492006
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22235) - you deserved it (1469)

On 11/13/2015 at 7:34am - misc - by Anonymousse (man) - United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff)

Today, I yawned so hard that I dislocated my jaw completely, then had to ask to be excused from class in front of 30 people with my mouth hanging open. FML

Today, my boyfriend called me at work and said, "I hate to do this over the phone..." I burst into tears, thinking he was going to break up with me. Turns out he only ate my last doughnut. Now my co-workers think I'm a weirdo. FML

#21491655
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22881) - you deserved it (4322)

On 11/12/2015 at 11:24am - love - by Porche - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my boyfriend started to suck on my boob, which I quite enjoy, until he said he was breastfeeding and called me "Mummy". I don't think I can ever let his mouth near my boobs ever again. FML

#21491595
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27917) - you deserved it (2974)

On 11/12/2015 at 4:09am - intimacy - by notyourmummy (woman) - United Kingdom (Isle of Wight)



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