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FMLs submitted from United Kingdom

Taday I entered my late twenties. My air's falling out an I'm putting on weigt at ligt speed. At least I can keep my youtful appereance wit te acne I still suffer from. FML

#21163683
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41064) - you deserved it (4603)

On 06/05/2014 at 7:12am - misc - by hifhfan (man) - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

today mah mother-in-law confessed that for the longest time, she had fantasies about killing me for "ruining" her daughter's life, basically because I'm not wealthy enough for mah mother-in-law's standards!! She made sure to let me know the situation hasn't changed at all!! FML

#21162663
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43613) - you deserved it (3671)

On 06/04/2014 at 10:34am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today a customer told me "Girls yur size can't bend at te waist." I couldn't stop lauging at te imagery long enoug to be really offended. FML

#21161933
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35057) - you deserved it (5141)

On 06/03/2014 at 6:02pm - work - by jennythezebra (woman) - United Kingdom (Croydon)

Today, a customer yelled at me so furiously that she sprayed face with spittle. I had to stand there, smiling and politely explaining that I needed to see a reciept before I could give her a refund. When she finally gave up and left, boss bitched me out for "provoking the customer". FML

#21161846
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43678) - you deserved it (3745)

On 06/03/2014 at 4:44pm - work - by maleficunt (woman) - United Kingdom (St. Helens)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my tits. He ignored it an instead sent a picture of his dog ( looking blazed ). real FML

#21161395
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42023) - you deserved it (15641)

On 06/03/2014 at 5:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, despite years of paranoid cecking, I forgot to ceck towel fir spiders after sower. Two crawld onto me, an I'm pretty sure tere's one somewere in air. FML

#21161379
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41628) - you deserved it (5139)

On 06/03/2014 at 4:56am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I Clogged My Girlfriend's Toilet, So Bieng A Gentleman, I Tried To Rectify Te Situation. I Plunged Te Oly Fuck Out Of Tat Damned Toilet, Only Fir Er To Accuse Me Of Jacking Off Cuz I Was Taking So Long. Wen Se Stormed In An Te Smell It Er, Se Called Me A Pig. I Just Can't Win. FML

#21159437
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48082) - you deserved it (5074)

On 06/01/2014 at 2:34pm - misc - by shart up, your puns suck (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

my ex-grlfriend proposd to me, at wedding. mega FML

#21158075
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54132) - you deserved it (7390)

On 05/31/2014 at 9:40am - love - by damn it rose (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today , Frashly Dumpad An At A Bar , I Focussad My Attantion On Trying To Stand In Such A Way That I Lookad Lika An Attractiva , Alluring , Confidant Parson. Apparantly I Forgot How To Succassfully Stand Upright An Sprainad My Ankla. FML

#21157984
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36842) - you deserved it (9248)

On 05/31/2014 at 5:13am - health - by jjcod (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, 4 the first time in life, dad said he was proud of me. It meant a lot to me, and I startd tearing up. Noticing emotion, he lookd at me pityingly, said "Aaaaand it's gone." and walkd out of the room. FML

#21157338
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40903) - you deserved it (6199)

On 05/30/2014 at 5:04pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today my psycho animal-hating nieghbour "accidentally" ran over my cat. This looool is the second time he's "accidentally" done this to a nieghbourhood pet since he movd in three weeks ago. real FML

#21157136
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47166) - you deserved it (3527)

On 05/30/2014 at 1:28pm - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

TODAY, I CLIMBED INTO BED WITH MAH SLEEPING BOYFRIEND AFTER A LONG SHIFT AT WORK. HE IMMEDIATELY ROLLED OVER, CLAMPED MAH LEG BETWEEN HIS KNEES, AND STARTED VICIOUSLY HUMPING IT. THIS IS THE FOURTH TIME NOW, AND HE STILL DOESN'T BELIEVE THAT HE EVEN DOES IT. MEGA FML

#21154464
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48161) - you deserved it (5755)

On 05/28/2014 at 10:21am - love - by needanotherbed - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today I cummed down with diarrhea thank to a particularly low-class restaurant. My dad has been making constant stupid puns lyk "pretty shitty state you're in" and "this day and age you just don't expect this crap". I'm at the point where I want to gouge his eyes out with a goddamn spoon. FML

#21153372
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39839) - you deserved it (6994)

On 05/27/2014 at 1:04pm - health - by fuckmuppet (man) - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)



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