FMLs submitted from United Kingdom

Today, I realised just how much my favourite pornstar looks like my sister. FML

by Oh Cock / 10/10/2015 at 11:15am / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Love

Today, I walked in on my sister shoving her vibrating phone into her privates. Can't erase that image. FML

by Anonymous / 10/06/2015 at 7:46am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy

Today, several coworkers think the operation scar on my wrist is really a failed suicide attempt, because I study design and apparently, "Artists are suicidal, right?" FML

by cocacola999 / 10/05/2015 at 4:31am / United Kingdom / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was pushing so hard to take a number two that I ended up passing out. FML

by Till We Pass Out / 10/03/2015 at 11:30am / United Kingdom (Calderdale) / Health

Today, I was clipping my nails. When I got to my toenail, the whole thing somehow ripped right out. I'm in agony. FML

by Anonymous / 10/03/2015 at 6:57am / United Kingdom (Blackpool) / Health

Today, after 4 days of avoiding me and screening his calls, my 24-year-old boyfriend sent his mother to break up with me on his behalf. FML

by coward / 10/03/2015 at 6:13am / United Kingdom / Love

Today, my hormones are so screwed, I popped a boner at the sight of two grasshoppers mating and had to retire to my room for a wank. FML

by sad-boing / 10/02/2015 at 5:01pm / United Kingdom (Kent) / Intimacy

Today, I found a baby squirrel on the pavement and thought I'd try and rescue it. While I googled what to do, it started running around. I tried to grab it, but it ran straight into the path of a car. FML

by Anonymous / 10/02/2015 at 12:48pm / United Kingdom (Norfolk) / Animals

Today, a guy threatened to sue me for fraud because I informed him that he had to start paying back his student loans. FML

by Anonymous / 10/02/2015 at 8:25am / United Kingdom / Work

Today, after months of running up four flights of stairs to what I thought was the only male restroom in the building, I found another one. It's always been just around the corner from my desk. FML

by fleckney26 / 10/01/2015 at 10:43am / United Kingdom / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I saw my ex boyfriend walking down the street in my direction. I've put on a bunch of weight since we broke up, so I turned to look in the nearest shop window, hoping he wouldn't notice. Unfortunately he did see me, looking straight at a KFC. FML

by Anonymous / 10/01/2015 at 8:16am / United Kingdom (Milton Keynes) / Love

Today, I started my new job. Not even 2 hours in did some old man ask me where I live, what's my number, and if I was interested in being with him and his friends. This guy is at least over 50 and works with me. I left my old job because some old men kept asking the same things. FML

Today, my boyfriend of 8 years moved in with two other women. He's spent the past 2 years telling me he can't afford to move out of his parent's house. FML

by Anonymous / 09/30/2015 at 11:08am / United Kingdom (Renfrewshire) / Love