FMLs submitted from United Kingdom

Today, on the bus, water kept dripping on my head so I stood up to move. As I got up, the bus turned round a corner and I fell over into a man's lap. When I tried to get up, I slipped down between his legs. FML

by alice / 02/13/2011 at 8:18pm / United Kingdom / Transportation

Today, I spent three and a half hours creating a Wikipedia page for myself. Three minutes after publishing, it was deleted due to me being a "Non-notable person nobody's ever heard of." FML

by shredded / 02/11/2011 at 7:26pm / United Kingdom (Richmond upon Thames) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came downstairs disappointed thinking that my parents had forgotten my birthday. Turns out they didn't forget, they just couldn't be bothered to do anything for it. FML

by Shivvy / 02/10/2011 at 10:24pm / United Kingdom (Bristol) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got an e-mail from my seminar tutor asking why I wasn't in class. I was sitting next to him. FML

by JaneVI / 02/10/2011 at 5:48pm / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on the phone to a guy I really like from work. We'd been talking for about 2 minutes, when he said he was getting another call, and put me on hold. I was so excited to be on the phone with him, it took me a whole 15 minutes to realise he had actually just hung up on me. FML

by Anonymous / 02/07/2011 at 4:14pm / United Kingdom (Argyll and Bute) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend asked me to play dead so he could have sex with my "corpse." FML

by Anon. / 02/07/2011 at 12:44pm / United Kingdom (Bradford) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my sister is going to spend the last two months of her pregancy in my house to be with my mother. She's bringing with her her three wild children. The visit also happens to coincide with my end of year examinations in May and June. FML

by stressedandcrowded / 02/05/2011 at 11:33am / United Kingdom (London) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend came home drunk. As he got home he asked me to marry him, I was going to say yes until he said, "Oh wait, wrong woman." FML

by em / 02/05/2011 at 4:32am / United Kingdom (North East Lincolnshire) / Love

Today, I fell over a wet floor sign warning you not to fall over. The irony hurt more than the fall. FML

by Anonymous / 02/05/2011 at 4:01am / United Kingdom (Gloucestershire) / Health

Today, my boyfriend got a new rifle. He forced me to watch him stripping it, oiling it, and sliding things into its barrel. We then watched 'Enemy at the Gates'. I basically endured 4 hours of gun porn. FML

by missbrit / 02/04/2011 at 2:59am / United Kingdom (Staffordshire) / Intimacy

Today, I was pissed that I got a £60 parking ticket so rang my friend to rant about it. I then got pulled over by the cops for using my phone, and was fined £120. FML

by Anonymous / 02/02/2011 at 2:12am / United Kingdom / Money

Today, I wrote a 2000 word essay on "Las Vegas - The City That Never Sleeps". I was proud of my work, until someone pointed out that New York is "The City That Never Sleeps", not Vegas. FML

by mmaisie / 02/01/2011 at 5:35am / United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire) / Work

Today, after 2 years together, my boyfriend finally proposed. I excitedly said yes. Just as we began to kiss, my half crazed cat ran in, dropped a half eaten bird at our feet, and promptly threw up on the carpet. FML

by birdguts / 01/30/2011 at 9:34pm / United Kingdom / Animals