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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from United Kingdom

Today, I went to my best friend's wedding. All my friends and their boyfriends were seated at one table, while I, as the only single girl in the group, was put on a table with all the other single people. They were all over forty years older than me. I feel like I have seen my future. FML

#6478242
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27360) - you deserved it (2534)

On 11/27/2009 at 1:16pm - love - by singlegirl (woman) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, I got out of the wrong side of the bed. Into a wall. FML

#6475314
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10502) - you deserved it (23213)

On 11/27/2009 at 5:11am - misc - by Nick (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I decided to make myself a nice meal. I bought expensive pasta and sauce etc. It looked delicious, I decided the finishing touch would be some parmesan cheese. I grabbed the bag and threw a handful of cheese on my meal. The cheese was about 98% mould. FML

#6465466
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17672) - you deserved it (23083)

On 11/26/2009 at 5:11pm - misc - by garlicbread (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, I was having a playful fight with my brother. I made the point that our dog likes me better than him. To this, my dog jumped onto the sofa, turned to me and vomited on my face. FML

#6464723
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20132) - you deserved it (7056)

On 11/26/2009 at 4:13pm - animals - by smellsofeggs (woman) - United Kingdom (Brent)

Today, I left my new iphone in a taxi I was sharing with a friend. Apparently when I got out she looked at it, told the driver some one had left it and gave it to him. FML

#6464441
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23958) - you deserved it (4436)

On 11/26/2009 at 3:47pm - misc - by hockey (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I had six friends round for pizza. When I went to answer the door to the delivery, my friends turned off the lights and pretended they weren't there when I shouted for help carrying all the food. Not only does the cute delivery guy think I'm greedy, but also that I have imaginary friends. FML

#6464238
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23066) - you deserved it (2857)

On 11/26/2009 at 3:30pm - misc - by has-evil-friends (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, I went on a blind double date with my friend. My date was actually blind. Not so bad, he seemed nice, until he told me I sound ugly and annoying. My friend laughed and agreed. FML

#6461991
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27012) - you deserved it (2560)

On 11/26/2009 at 12:44pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, I felt dizzy and light-headed. So I sat down at the top of my stairs calling my brother who was downstairs, for help because I was scared something was wrong with me. He called back "No, I'm eating." I fainted. When I woke up, I was still alone upstairs and he was still eating downstairs. FML

#6436663
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22879) - you deserved it (2317)

On 11/24/2009 at 3:07pm - health - by Foodcomesfirst (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I watched Paranormal Activity which is known to be the scariest film ever. After the film, I went to brush my teeth and out of the corner of my eye I saw the bathroom door closing by itself. I jumped out of my skin and stabbed myself in the eye with my toothbrush. It was just my dog. FML

#6436100
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10291) - you deserved it (27949)

On 11/24/2009 at 1:45pm - animals - by J (woman) - United Kingdom (Somerset)

Today, I woke up in a closet of a four star hotel, having spent the night drinking. I am a secondary school teacher and I have been visiting this place on a school trip. My flight left at 4am this morning and it's now 1pm in the afternoon. FML

#6421481
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5803) - you deserved it (50917)

On 11/23/2009 at 1:29pm - misc - by Nicholasand (woman) - United Kingdom (Staffordshire)

Today, I was at a party with my boyfriend of one year when an attractive girl walks over. She asks him, "Is this your girlfriend?" He replied "That depends... are you single?" FML

#6404510
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40707) - you deserved it (3210)

On 11/22/2009 at 12:49pm - love - by Rejected. (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, my boyfriend came home drunk and thought it would be funny to spray himself in the face with pepper spray. I was in his drunken firing line too. After him vomiting and being blinded for a few hours, he was fine. I, on the other hand, had a terrible allergic reaction and got rushed to hospital. FML

#6400786
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21803) - you deserved it (4030)

On 11/22/2009 at 2:41am - misc - by jayne_dhoe (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, as I left class I felt a tug on my rucksack from behind. Thinking it was just someone deliberately dragging me back, I struggled to let myself free and shouted "Let go!". I looked over my shoulder just to find that one the straps was trapped in the doorhandle. Everyone was in hysterics. FML

#6369387
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8516) - you deserved it (21874)

On 11/19/2009 at 3:06pm - misc - by betamaxjim (man) - United Kingdom (Kirklees)



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