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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from United Kingdom

Today, I spent two hours making a cake that I'd promised my class for weeks. I boarded the train to school, but soon dozed off. A few minutes later, I awoke with a start and noticed a chunk of the cake missing and a homeless man next to me with frosting around his mouth. FML

#13717829
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24877) - you deserved it (7660)

On 11/04/2010 at 7:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my mum and I decided to go on a hike. Beforehand we left my car at the end of the trail and took my mums car to the beginning. After 4 hours we arrived at my car. I had left my keys in mums car. It was a long walk back. FML

#13701882
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7639) - you deserved it (25267)

On 11/03/2010 at 2:10pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, two months after moving up to Scotland to be with my fiancé, he broke up with me because he 'didn't love me anymore and hadn't for a long time.' Shame he didn't tell me that when he was saying 'I love you, I want to marry you', having sex with me, and using my savings for a deposit on a flat. FML

#13699572
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28929) - you deserved it (4161)

On 11/03/2010 at 9:13am - intimacy - by shunned (woman) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)

Today, I saw a portable speed camera on the highway and braked hard. I caused a 4 car pile-up and my car is totaled. It wasn't a speed camera. FML

#13698951
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6501) - you deserved it (52800)

On 11/03/2010 at 7:23am - misc - by Gemma - United Kingdom (London)

Today, our class was focusing on discrimination, and our teacher asked us if anyone had ever felt discriminated against. I put my hand up to share a story, and my teacher immediately said "It's because you're ginger, isn't it?" That's not what I was going to say. FML

#13688243
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40947) - you deserved it (7191)

On 11/02/2010 at 1:43pm - misc - by gingerninja (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, after taking my jacket off at work, I found a large faint stain all across one side of my shirt. Turns out that my fiancé had used it to "clean up the bed." I am the manager of a supermarket with 40 employees. It was pretty obvious what it was. FML

#13674952
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23762) - you deserved it (4834)

On 11/01/2010 at 1:24pm - intimacy - by grimatwork (man) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I went to a party dressed as a Pinata. Drunk people tried to hit me all night. FML

#13671939
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8680) - you deserved it (51942)

On 11/01/2010 at 3:34am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my boyfriend borrowed my Jane Norman dress to wear to a Halloween party. He got hammered, threw up all over it, and fell unconscious on the shower floor. FML

#13664079
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19921) - you deserved it (7173)

On 10/31/2010 at 2:25pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I walked outside to find someone had egged my house and smashed a pumpkin onto my car. I later discovered that the perpetrator was my own 8 year old son. FML

#13653582
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24631) - you deserved it (4924)

On 10/30/2010 at 7:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, I was sucking on a Tic Tac. Just as I was starting to get into it, the Tic-Tac suddenly shot down my throat. After a minute of coughing and gagging, it came back up... out my left nostril. FML

#13652209
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33446) - you deserved it (5683)

On 10/30/2010 at 5:28pm - health - by DeepTaccer (man) - United Kingdom (Norfolk)

Today, my mother, my aunt, and my two sisters are all on their periods. I can't even brush my teeth in my own house without being treated like a criminal. FML

#13641509
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42931) - you deserved it (4779)

On 10/29/2010 at 8:10pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, as a physics teacher, I was testing a class to see how high a sound frequency they could hear. One girl claimed she could hear the sound even though it was physically impossible. Without thinking, I replied "Only dogs can hear this frequency." Needless to say, she was picked on all day. FML

#13636606
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26894) - you deserved it (11673)

On 10/29/2010 at 8:17am - kids - by mrtut (man) - United Kingdom (Merseyside)

Today, my boyfriend got mugged. I found out because the mugger had the courtesy to ring me, after I texted several times asking where he was, to say "He won't reply. He got robbed." FML

#13634930
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30787) - you deserved it (2821)

On 10/29/2010 at 2:12am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)



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