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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from United Kingdom

Today, I was diagnosed with depression. My girlfriend's idea of consoling me was to break up with me because she can't date a "psycho". FML

#21463683
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8547) - you deserved it (661)

On 09/02/2015 at 9:29am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, some friends got upset with me as I wouldn't leave work early and cycle 12 miles to meet them to fix their punctures because they had no spare tubes or repair kits. The same friends that always mock me for being so prepared on bike rides. FML

#21463642
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13425) - you deserved it (912)

On 09/02/2015 at 5:20am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I saw my ex for the first time since we broke up. We were on a train next to each other for 6 hours, to a festival where our tents were pitched next to each other. We're here for 5 days. FML

#21462968
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20701) - you deserved it (1860)

On 08/31/2015 at 12:27pm - misc - by NoFunForMe - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, I thought the girl I was seeing was going to tell me that she loved me. Instead, she told me how she sucked some other guy's dick. FML

#21462923
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22329) - you deserved it (1674)

On 08/31/2015 at 9:16am - intimacy - by FuckThis (man) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, my doctor died. Last week, after a check up I'd had because I was worried about a cough, he told me not to worry because I was as healthy as he was. FML

#21462016
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23793) - you deserved it (1663)

On 08/29/2015 at 4:50am - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my bitch of a sister broke my new phone, which took me months of work to earn. Her excuse? If I didn't want her to break it, I shouldn't have let her use it. FML

#21461274
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22247) - you deserved it (2015)

On 08/27/2015 at 8:43am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Bexley)

Today, due to medication I am taking that causes constipation, I have become all too accustomed to using a disposable rubber glove to dig crap out of my own butthole. FML

#21461256
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23778) - you deserved it (2051)

On 08/27/2015 at 6:56am - health - by jack - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, the boy that I met online six months ago and expressed my love to sent me a picture of himself and confessed how old he really was: thirteen. I'm eighteen years old and holding a steady job. FML

#21460634
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20758) - you deserved it (7084)

On 08/25/2015 at 6:38pm - love - by FlyAwayPlease (woman) - United Kingdom (Flintshire)

Today, I shaved my pubes while staying at my senile grandma's place. I guess I didn't clean up properly, because she found some hair and insisted someone must have broken in while we were out and used the shower. I had to play along to spare myself embarrassment. FML

#21460529
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17710) - you deserved it (6157)

On 08/25/2015 at 1:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, I was lying on a couch, reading, when I noticed a spindly leg poking round the corner of my book. Upon realising it was a spider, I calmly and rationally threw my book across the room, breaking the TV. FML

#21459977
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19054) - you deserved it (8209)

On 08/24/2015 at 4:46am - misc - by Annie (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I came home from a stay at my girlfriend's place. My little brother stepped on my bag and accidentally switched my vibrator on. I told him the buzzing sound was my electric toothbrush. He went to the bathroom and came back with the toothbrush. He won't stop asking what's in my bag. FML

Today, my period started again. I just finished a 17-day period 3 days ago. FML

#21459211
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27784) - you deserved it (1780)

On 08/22/2015 at 6:47am - health - by period pains - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, my boss bitched me out for violating workplace privacy, after he found an FML post from last year that eerily resembled a situation that happened the same year. He thought I posted it and twisted things to make him look like an idiot. I've never posted here in my life. FML

#21458477
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25273) - you deserved it (2317)

On 08/20/2015 at 1:48pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Fife)



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