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FMLs submitted from Switzerland

Today, while on student exchange in Germany, I was making myself a cup of coffee. When I rummaged around in the fridge, my room-mates asked me what I was looking for. I said I wanted to put "samen" in my coffee. They laughed. Ah yes, "sahne" means "cream". "Samen" means "sperm". FML

#16951443
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28129) - you deserved it (10819) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/02/2011 at 5:50pm - intimacy - by Hum - Switzerland (Ticino)

Today, my family went out to dinner at a seafood restaurant. While we were eating our food, my grandma demanded to see the manager, and loudly complained that her fish was "too fishy". FML

#16852326
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31366) - you deserved it (3868)

On 06/25/2011 at 4:39pm - misc - by Anonymous - Switzerland (Vaud)

Today, one of my students corrected the problem I had solved on the board, explaining that you do multiplication before subtraction. I teach the second grade. FML

#16829160
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10137) - you deserved it (48995)

On 06/24/2011 at 2:47am - work - by gutav indogop - Switzerland (Aargau)

Today, my girlfriend bought several packs of bottled water, even though we have pure mountain water on tap. She did this because the pile-up of unwashed dishes in the sink makes it virtually impossible to slide a glass under the tap. FML

#16718641
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10056) - you deserved it (41598) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/17/2011 at 9:25pm - love - by Anonyme - Switzerland (Fribourg)

Today, my dad awkwardly asked me how to selectively clear his browser history. Apparently, my mom discovered his browsing habits and tore him a new one for looking at "nothing but vile smut". FML

#16606089
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26793) - you deserved it (3015)

On 06/11/2011 at 2:37am - intimacy - by dadisgoatboy - Switzerland (Aargau)

Today, my boss told me I'm not working hard enough because I take French classes two mornings a week and therefore I won't be getting a promotion. If I want the promotion I have to stop taking my French classes. These are the same French classes I was told I originally needed for the promotion. FML

#16044188
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38136) - you deserved it (2752)

On 05/04/2011 at 1:29pm - money - by French - Switzerland (Vaud)

Today, at work, a customer went to try on a pair of pants. A few minutes later, she hurriedly returned and put the pants back on the shelf without saying anything. I later found out she'd come down with a bout of diarrhea and apparently didn't want to pay for the dry-cleaning. Glamorous. FML

#15891295
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34680) - you deserved it (3310) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/22/2011 at 10:17pm - work - by n77 - Switzerland (Vaud)

Today, I finally learned why the application of lasers, acids, liquid nitrogen and witchcraft never did any good on the huge warts on my hands. Apparently, it's a genetic disease and not a virus. For unknown reasons, I've recently grown the normal viral kind too. On my tongue. FML

Today, I was going down on my girlfriend. I thought everything was going well, then all of a sudden she gets up and screams at me "IT'S NOT A TACO EATING COMPETITION, CHILL OUT." FML

#15087841
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22427) - you deserved it (42923)

On 02/23/2011 at 5:06am - intimacy - by failed (man) - Switzerland (Vaud)

Today, one week after my girlfriend berated me for not being invested enough in our relationship, I proposed to her. Her answer? "I meant give me an orgasm, not a ring!" FML

#14699033
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33182) - you deserved it (9432)

On 01/24/2011 at 4:00pm - intimacy - by Limalia (man) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, in dance class, the instructor asked me to demonstrate the splits to the group. I slid down, my legs opening wider as I descended. I then loudly farted for the full 5 seconds it took to reach the ground. FML

#14613104
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34272) - you deserved it (5811) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 11:44am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - Switzerland - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, as I left my house, the front door slammed shut behind me, causing an entire roof-length of snow to slide over the edge and land directly on my head. FML

#14385124
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21408) - you deserved it (5346)

On 12/29/2010 at 6:32pm - misc - by snowball (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, I ate lunch alone. None of my colleagues saved me a seat. One of those colleagues was my husband. He didn't even have the decency to move so that I wouldn't have to eat alone. FML

#14117302
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36212) - you deserved it (4244)

On 12/07/2010 at 6:12am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Switzerland (Vaud)



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