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FMLs submitted from Switzerland

Today, I was driving and noticed a police car parked in a spot reserved for the handicapped. I stopped my car and got out to take a picture. The cop gave me a ticket for parking in the road. FML

Today, I had to present a program to my supervisors in University. Not being a native English speaker, I used my own invented abbreviations for parameters in the program. Apparently STD is not an appropriate abbreviation for "standard deviation." I can still hear them laughing. FML

#20156190
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19814) - you deserved it (7122)

On 11/09/2012 at 11:23am - work - by EnglishLearner (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend, when things got a little frisky and we started making out. It was my first time French-kissing, and apparently he has a very sensitive gag reflex, because the moment my tongue went in, he started retching, and vomited moments later. FML

#20134512
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25269) - you deserved it (3416)

On 10/26/2012 at 5:59pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by rapping in a voicemail. FML

#20053776
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27034) - you deserved it (3155)

On 09/02/2012 at 8:44am - love - by rotezora (woman) - Switzerland (Basel-Stadt)

Today, my neighborhood had its annual summer barbecue, and I ended up showing a little boy who lives down the street how to hit a baseball. When I gave him back his bat so he could try for himself, he swung it into my shin and yelled, "Tag! You're it!" FML

#19844556
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20674) - you deserved it (2247)

On 06/25/2012 at 12:09pm - kids - by bcoper (man) - Switzerland (Luzern)

Today, I snuck out of the house for a night on the town. When I got back, I found all the doors and windows bolted shut. My sister's laughing face at my bedroom window suggests I'll be spending the rest of the night outside. FML

#19761318
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9721) - you deserved it (26641)

On 06/09/2012 at 5:15pm - misc - by cock sauce (man) - Switzerland (Luzern)

Today, trying to look cool, I threw my coke bottle in the air, and tried to catch it with one hand. I missed and it fell to the floor. Luckily, it wasn't open, but in my unimaginable stupidity, I opened it less than five seconds later. FML

#19678875
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5510) - you deserved it (34647)

On 05/25/2012 at 3:30pm - misc - by stupidity (woman) - Switzerland (Geneve)

Today, my boyfriend ended our relationship. He called me from his mobile phone, claimed to be a trauma surgeon, and told me with a bad German accent that my "boyfriend" had been in a fatal car crash earlier in the day. What the hell is wrong with this idiot? FML

#19667641
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31581) - you deserved it (4022)

On 05/23/2012 at 1:20pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, I was on the bus during rush hour. A fly started buzzing around my head, and I swatted at it, at the exact moment the woman beside me decided to get out of her seat and put her face straight in the path of my hand. FML

#19502060
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21990) - you deserved it (2699)

On 04/20/2012 at 5:48pm - misc - by apparentlyawomanbeater (man) - Switzerland (Ticino)

Today, after my credit card was stolen, the thief made donations to charitable associations. Now I feel bad for asking for the money back. FML

#18973351
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36536) - you deserved it (3545)

On 02/01/2012 at 11:35pm - money - by zobara - Switzerland

Today, the quality of my sex life reached a new low. I faked my orgasm. And so did he. FML

#18803776
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16166) - you deserved it (23654)

On 01/14/2012 at 8:15am - intimacy - by sosadbuttrue - Switzerland (Glarus)

Today, I stayed up until 4 am. I was waiting for both my cats to fall asleep, so I could play Santa and stuff their stockings in secret. FML

#18605439
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17783) - you deserved it (51603)

On 12/25/2011 at 6:39am - animals - by Anonymoose (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, for breakfast, there were scrambled eggs, boiled eggs, bacon, sausages, fresh bread, croissants, brownies, donuts, fruit smoothie, coffee, tea and orange juice. Too bad no one bothered wake me up. FML

#16969681
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36047) - you deserved it (9653)

On 07/04/2011 at 3:27am - misc - by Gustav Fjorder - Switzerland



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