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FMLs submitted from South Africa

Today, my sister's kitten walked away from his litter box, jumped onto the table, looked me dead in the eyes, then peed directly onto my laptop. FML

#21401720
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29220) - you deserved it (2754)

On 04/29/2015 at 12:06pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, I snuck downstairs to watch a midnight movie. One moment I'm trying to plug my headphones in, in the dark, and the next my dad's beating the shit out of me with a baseball bat. Turns out he snuck down after me for a midnight snack and thought I was a burglar disconnecting the TV. FML

#21399867
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32590) - you deserved it (4678)

On 04/26/2015 at 6:05am - health - by Anonymous (man) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I made fun of a friend at a dinner party after he forgot to put his engagement ring on. It turned out his fiancée actually ended the engagement last week, and everyone thinks I was being spiteful just because the girl is my ex. FML

#21340977
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27907) - you deserved it (7962)

On 01/20/2015 at 2:16pm - love - by FootInMouth - South Africa

Today, my little brother learned about mortality when our dog died. Since then, he's gone a little nuts and keeps ranting that he sees no point as to why our other dog should live. He's 16. FML

#21306062
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28819) - you deserved it (2384)

On 11/26/2014 at 7:09am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of 5 years. She bitched me out for not getting the ring she had been "hinting" me to get, and angrily left. FML

#21298350
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37691) - you deserved it (4609)

On 11/13/2014 at 1:50pm - love - by Anonymous - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, I woke up to a text from my manager, saying "Hed's up dude, ur gettin fired tomoz. CEO's pissed. No hard feelins m8". Great. FML

#21287630
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33686) - you deserved it (2795)

On 10/29/2014 at 11:46am - work - by fired tomoz (man) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, my boss asked about the mass of deep scratches on my arm. I lied and told him it happened while I was trying to save my cat from a tree. Truth is, my cat is a sadistic asshole who stalks me and mauls me whenever he can. FML

#21286814
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31667) - you deserved it (4986)

On 10/28/2014 at 3:40am - animals - by thewrittenrebel - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend in the missionary position. Once again, our cat decided to crawl onto his back and stare at me. FML

#21276776
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36378) - you deserved it (5255)

On 10/13/2014 at 6:20am - intimacy - by Drafrica (woman) - South Africa

Today, I found my first grey hair. How? My boyfriend stopped in the middle of sex to point it out. FML

#21274083
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34378) - you deserved it (3208)

On 10/09/2014 at 6:27am - love - by MoRuined (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, it's been two months since I started a three-year contract at a new job. So far, 5 people have resigned. Pretty sure I've joined a sinking ship. FML

#21264311
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30475) - you deserved it (2604)

On 09/24/2014 at 3:15am - work - by SinkingShip (woman) - South Africa

Today, my girlfriend got her period. It seemed more painful for her than usual, so I offered to go out and buy some painkillers and maybe some chocolate for her. She thought I was being sarcastic and slapped me so hard I saw stars. FML

#21245120
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40662) - you deserved it (3501)

On 08/25/2014 at 2:58pm - misc - by nhyari (man) - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, after a long silent and awkward pause after asking my girlfriend's dad if I can take her on holiday for Christmas, he looked me dead in the eyes and said "No, you may not impregnate my daughter." FML

#21243591
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45930) - you deserved it (6046)

On 08/23/2014 at 3:34am - intimacy - by Dafuq happen there - South Africa

Today, my teenage daughter faked a suicide because I bought her a Samsung instead of an iPhone for her birthday. FML

#21198840
342 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55477) - you deserved it (11384)

On 07/04/2014 at 8:15pm - kids - by iphonerevolution - South Africa



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