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FMLs submitted from Singapore

Today, I picked up a lady's dropped wallet and chased after her despite my sprained ankle. When I finally caught up with her, she smashed her chili sauce filled hotdog across my face and kicked me in the groin, accusing me of stealing her wallet. I was kept at the police station for 3 hours. FML

#17681011
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32120) - you deserved it (2271)

On 09/06/2011 at 3:40pm - misc - by fmlsrslyahhh - Singapore

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She responded by sitting on the floor, crying like a baby and screaming "WHY?" at strangers. FML

#17664853
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21584) - you deserved it (8413)

On 09/04/2011 at 9:27pm - love - by ddll (man) - Singapore

Today, I found out that I was adopted. I'm 46 years old with 11 real siblings and no one bothered to tell me until I found the documents in my dead adoptive father's house. FML

#17609010
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28577) - you deserved it (1989)

On 08/29/2011 at 12:06am - misc - by Ariella - Singapore

Today, I got into a fight with my boyfriend. The only thing he could think of to cheer me up was to give me "permission" to give him a blowjob. FML

#17429477
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29867) - you deserved it (5980)

On 08/10/2011 at 1:47pm - intimacy - by noway - Singapore

Today, my extremely paranoid boyfriend called me a whore and threatened to break up with me, all because he had a dream in which I had sex with my ex. I'm still a virgin. FML

#17025215
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40983) - you deserved it (6927)

On 07/08/2011 at 4:41am - intimacy - by wronged - Singapore

Today, a sweet old lady gave up her seat for me in the bus. She lectured to the entire bus that seats should be given to those in need, like myself who is heavily pregnant. I am just fat. FML

#17008873
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26941) - you deserved it (19631)

On 07/07/2011 at 12:04am - misc - by Preggie - Singapore

Today, I laughed when I saw my ex-girlfriend in her overall uniform, thinking she'd got a job as a janitor. Turns out she's as professional marine welder. She's 22 years old and earns my monthly salary in three days. My current girlfriend who was there with me called me a loser in front of her. FML

#16982648
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10285) - you deserved it (55029)

On 07/05/2011 at 3:06am - love - by eatmywords (man) - Singapore

Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm a vegan. She replied, "So, you're allergic to meat?" FML

#16758820
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23018) - you deserved it (12256)

On 06/20/2011 at 4:12am - love - by blondetergent (man) - Singapore

Today, my parents grounded me and took away my phone, iPod and door. That's right, my door. They think that because I was stumbling and couldn't walk straight last night, I must have been out drinking. They know I suffer from chronic vertigo, but don't believe I was having an attack. FML

#16608434
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38021) - you deserved it (2751)

On 06/11/2011 at 9:06am - health - by sickbaby (woman) - Singapore

Today, the elevator in my apartment building broke down. I live on the 30th floor and am still climbing the stairs. FML

#16447719
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29427) - you deserved it (3582)

On 06/01/2011 at 4:09am - misc - by Username - Singapore

Today, I inexplicably claimed ownership of someone else's fart in the subway. FML

#16341227
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8547) - you deserved it (30184)

On 05/25/2011 at 10:33am - misc - by anonymous - Singapore

Today, my boss called me into his office to proudly show me about an hour's worth of videos of his recent holiday. The videos were all of goats and cows eating grass outside his window in Pakistan. FML

#16324366
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25363) - you deserved it (2883)

On 05/24/2011 at 3:31am - work - by goatvideosarelame (man) - Singapore

Today, my dad texted me while I was in school saying, "Your cat vomited. Covered it up with a bowl so you can clean it when you come home." FML

#16117188
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29049) - you deserved it (5565)

On 05/10/2011 at 12:37pm - animals - by coolbeans123 (woman) - Singapore



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