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FMLs submitted from Reserved

Today, at work, I met a new client for the first time. Apparently he thought it would be a good idea to get drunk beforehand and spend the whole appointment telling me about his 9 inch "drill bit." I have to try and find this guy a job. FML

#17694552
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25510) - you deserved it (2265)

On 09/08/2011 at 2:34am - intimacy - by grossedout (woman) - Reserved

Today, I caught my husband farting on my wind-chime in an attempt to make it ring. It did. FML

#17668852
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29619) - you deserved it (4389)

On 09/05/2011 at 8:05am - misc - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, I was knocked into a wall by a high-pressure water cannon suddenly kicking in. I was only going to the corner store to buy some chocolate. Probably serves me right for not noticing a small riot due to a thumping hangover. FML

#17474756
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22480) - you deserved it (6451)

On 08/14/2011 at 10:39pm - misc - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, after being kept awake all night by my house-mate and his girlfriend, they woke me at the crack of dawn to apologize for being so loud. FML

#17394740
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28081) - you deserved it (2296)

On 08/07/2011 at 4:08am - intimacy - by Username - Reserved

Today, I discovered that the more money I earn, the more my personal belongings break down on me. FML

#17274904
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26271) - you deserved it (2822)

On 07/27/2011 at 12:05am - money - by talwin (man) - Reserved

Today, I wore my expensive new white jacket to work, thinking it would be a nice change from my usual black. I managed to lean in printer ink. FML

#16771657
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26393) - you deserved it (11938)

On 06/20/2011 at 10:33pm - misc - by drycleanplz - Reserved

Today, my boyfriend called me as I was getting ready for bed and asked me to pick him up from the bar. Being a loving girlfriend I drive the 45 minutes; when I get there his friend informs me he left about 45 minutes ago. FML

#15999474
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32140) - you deserved it (4734)

On 05/01/2011 at 1:36am - love - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, I paid £140 for a train ticket. All the seats were full. When I sat in the corridor the guard yelled at me. I paid £140 to stand outside a stinking train toilet for 7 hours. FML

#15858799
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27809) - you deserved it (2918)

On 04/20/2011 at 12:13pm - misc - by Sivvus (woman) - Reserved

Today, I got back from vacation and walked in on my boyfriend and my brother in my bed. FML

#15617038
354 comments

I agree, your life sucks (112765) - you deserved it (7954)

On 04/03/2011 at 4:06am - intimacy - by Now Single - Reserved

Today, I came home from a week-long vacation, only to find my mother-in-law didn't just dog-sit while I was gone; she moved in, along with all her possessions, and seems to think it's a permanent deal. FML

#15562306
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37099) - you deserved it (3455)

On 03/30/2011 at 3:59pm - misc - by Anon_a_mouse (man) - Reserved

Today, I was getting dirty looks on the train whilst air strumming the guitar to a song on my iPod, after glancing at the reflection in the window I realized it looked like I was masturbating. FML

#15251436
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16381) - you deserved it (38436)

On 03/09/2011 at 2:37pm - intimacy - by anonymouse - Reserved

Today, I decided to improve my posture by sitting through all of my classes with my shoulders and back completely straight. Pretty soon I couldn't move my shoulders at all. I had to go to the chiropractor. It turns out that in trying to improve my posture, I misaligned my spine instead. FML

#15229929
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28227) - you deserved it (5991)

On 03/07/2011 at 2:39pm - health - by Less (woman) - Reserved

Today, my husband told me I was lucky to have someone who would love me no matter what my vagina smelled like. FML

#15215941
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41610) - you deserved it (21417)

On 03/06/2011 at 6:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Reserved



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