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FMLs submitted from Philippines

Today, my friends and I went out drinking, and luckily enough, the guy I have had a crush on for four years now was there. I tried to get drunk so that I can make a move and blame it on the alcohol. I went in to whisper my confession in his ear... only to puke on him. FML

#4808009
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10196) - you deserved it (63718)

On 08/25/2009 at 10:17am - love - by sickened (woman) - Philippines (Rizal)

Today, my mom was gifted with a toiletry basket. I grabbed the lotion and used it without asking. When I went out, it began raining hard. I got wet and noticed my skin got very sticky. Turns out the lotion was actually body wash. People were wondering why soap bubbles were coming from my skin. FML

#4499935
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7689) - you deserved it (58769)

On 08/13/2009 at 12:07pm - misc - by soapgirl (woman) - Philippines (Pampanga)

Today, I had to wait outside Starbucks. While standing, I started day dreaming and didn't notice I had been staring at a table beside the window for a long time. Suddenly, someone went up to me and said "Try not to be so obvious". Sitting at the table was a girl with a huge cleavage. FML

#3878598
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37853) - you deserved it (10629)

On 07/19/2009 at 10:13am - misc - by lifedoessuck12 (man) - Philippines (Pasay)

Today, my building's elevators were temporarily out of service. I climbed up 17 flights of stairs only to realize I left my keys downstairs. After the painful climb back up, the elevator lights came on. FML

#3713187
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39552) - you deserved it (6303)

On 07/13/2009 at 9:25am - health - by Tired (woman) - Philippines (Bulacan)

Today, it was graduation day, and the very first time I'm hosting an event. When I got on stage, I stared at the audience for a good 5 seconds, then I fainted. FML

#2625677
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45094) - you deserved it (5539)

On 06/05/2009 at 6:48am - misc - by Emcee (man) - Philippines (Rizal)

Today, while at the bakeshop, I got bored waiting in line so I decided to sit on the glass case protecting cupcakes. Turns out there was no glass. I had to pay $50 to cover all the mess and had to walk out of the bakeshop with icing all over my butt. FML

#1618603
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11100) - you deserved it (72108)

On 05/04/2009 at 3:34am - misc - by kandi (woman) - Philippines (Bulacan)

Today, I was running late for work so instead of walking the ten minutes to the office, I took a taxi. The driver took the opportunity to share the story of his first sexual experience with a man. In great detail. FML

#279644
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86082) - you deserved it (13559)

On 03/12/2009 at 5:06am - intimacy - by Noname - Philippines (Cebu City)

Today, I went to my guidance counselor and told her how I'd been fascinated with space since I was 12, had read about the universe and everything, and how I want to be an astrologist when I grow up. She stared at me for a second, before saying, "But you're... stupid." FML

#233372
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64743) - you deserved it (16291)

On 03/07/2009 at 11:10am - misc - by astroloser (woman) - Philippines (Rizal)

Today, I was instructed by my boss to welcome the 2 new foreign business partners since I am the only one who could speak their language. When they arrived I greeted them in their language. One of them scratched his head and asked his companion in plain and clear English, "What did he say?" FML

#45177
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33793) - you deserved it (4532)

On 02/15/2009 at 1:21am - misc - by Salaryman (man) - Philippines (Rizal)

Today, I met a guy who said he thinks he's in love with my sister. As a joke, I told him that my sister cheats on everyone. I get home to find my sister crying, because some 'person' told her boyfriend that she's cheating on him. FML

#20165
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7748) - you deserved it (60817)

On 02/10/2009 at 6:59am - misc - by imwrong (woman) - Philippines (Rizal)

Today, on the crowded train, a cute guy called me over and told me to stand next to him because there were less people there. We started talking, but he left before I could get his number. Just when I was about to tell my friends about it, I find out that he stole my phone. FML

#20147
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33595) - you deserved it (5034)

On 02/10/2009 at 6:30am - misc - by touched (woman) - Philippines (Rizal)

Today, we received a wedding invitation from a couple who are renting an apartment from us. They haven't paid rent for several months. My father is listed as the "principal sponsor." FML

#2284
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20353) - you deserved it (2004)

On 01/23/2009 at 5:16am - money - by moronicmoroccan - Philippines (Rizal)

Today, my boss replied-to-all to a memo I sent, wherein he states that "Filipino" should be spelled with a double P. He spells his nationality with a double R. He's from Morocco. FML

#2247
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13388) - you deserved it (2079)

On 01/22/2009 at 6:26pm - misc - by moronicmoroccan - Philippines (Rizal)



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