FMLs submitted from Pakistan

Today, I finished a 700-page book for my law exam. It was the wrong book. FML

by Anonymous / 10/23/2016 at 6:12am / Pakistan (Punjab) / Work

Today, I was travelling. At airport security, the woman patting me down felt something "down there" and asked me what I was wearing. I told her it was a sanitary napkin. She put her hands inside my pants just to be sure. FML

by sufia / 09/29/2016 at 7:14am / Pakistan / Transportation

Today, someone spilled ammonium hydroxide in ethanol solution in the lab, which smells like very concentrated urine. Since the experiment involved Bunsen burners, we couldn't turn on the fans. We had to work in a lab that smelled like Satan's piss for 2 hours. FML

by r1has / 09/12/2016 at 4:21am / Pakistan (Punjab) / Miscellaneous

Today, due to summer Ramadan, we have 16 hour long fasts. Normally this is okay, except today I managed to sleep through both suhoor and iftaar. I haven't eaten for 36 hours. FML

Today, while chopping green chilies, I accidentally rubbed my eyes. It currently feels like Satan pissed hellfire straight into my right eye. FML

by r1has / 06/11/2016 at 10:58pm / Pakistan (Islamabad) / Health

Today, my boss admitted that he seriously regrets hiring me, but can't really do anything about it because that would make the senior management question his judgment, making him look bad. So he's just 'putting up' with me. FML

by Incompetent / 05/02/2016 at 8:27am / Pakistan (Punjab) / Work

Today, our office had a mock audit before the real thing. I got warning note for not maintaining proper databases for last year's activities. I only joined a few months ago. FML

by stuckass / 04/05/2016 at 5:02am / Pakistan / Work

Today, my constant constipation has become a running joke in my family; I heard my mom tell my dad that if he wants to keep his Christmas presents safe, he should ask me to eat them. FML

by aswamk / 12/19/2015 at 12:01am / Pakistan (Sindh) / Health

Today, I finally finished restoring a car after working on it for 6 months, so I took it out for a drive. On the way back, I stopped at a red light, but the drunk driver behind me didn't. FML

Today, my friend made a fake account on Facebook, pretending to be a girl, and posted my phone number on a sexting group. I've been getting calls and text messages from horny weirdos all day long. FML

by bullah007 / 11/28/2014 at 1:43pm / Pakistan (Punjab) / Geek

Today, the sewage pipe busted on the side of our house, spew fecal matter and the condoms I recently flushed. My parents now refuse to talk to me, and won't let my girlfriend anywhere near the house. FML

by ===== / 01/14/2014 at 12:59pm / Pakistan (Sindh) / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered the source of the vile stench in my room. My daughter had "saved" a bird from our cat and put it in a box under my bed, hoping to nurse it back to health. She forgot about it, leaving the corpse rotting in there for who knows how long. FML

by Anonymous / 06/20/2013 at 12:54pm / Pakistan (Punjab) / Animals

Today, I found out I'm actually the uncle of my children. All four of them. FML

by Liferuinedforever / 05/14/2013 at 3:13am / Pakistan (Sindh) / Kids