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FMLs submitted from Pakistan

Today, my constant constipation has become a running joke in my family; I heard my mom tell my dad that if he wants to keep his Christmas presents safe, he should ask me to eat them. FML

#21505211
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19519) - you deserved it (1567)

On 12/19/2015 at 12:01am - health - by aswamk - Pakistan (Sindh)

Today, I finally finished restoring a car after working on it for 6 months, so I took it out for a drive. On the way back, I stopped at a red light, but the drunk driver behind me didn't. FML

Today, my friend made a fake account on Facebook, pretending to be a girl, and posted my phone number on a sexting group. I've been getting calls and text messages from horny weirdos all day long. FML

#21307548
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34967) - you deserved it (4233)

On 11/28/2014 at 1:43pm - misc - by bullah007 (man) - Pakistan (Punjab)

Today, the sewage pipe busted on the side of our house, spew fecal matter and the condoms I recently flushed. My parents now refuse to talk to me, and won't let my girlfriend anywhere near the house. FML

#21027629
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27824) - you deserved it (47955)

On 01/14/2014 at 12:59pm - misc - by ===== (man) - Pakistan (Sindh)

Today, I discovered the source of the vile stench in my room. My daughter had "saved" a bird from our cat and put it in a box under my bed, hoping to nurse it back to health. She forgot about it, leaving the corpse rotting in there for who knows how long. FML

#20737123
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48004) - you deserved it (3247)

On 06/20/2013 at 12:54pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Pakistan (Punjab)

Today, I found out I'm actually the uncle of my children. All four of them. FML

#20662485
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (107179) - you deserved it (6571)

On 05/14/2013 at 3:13am - kids - by Liferuinedforever (man) - Pakistan (Sindh)

Today, my long-distance girlfriend drunk dialed me and told me she was horny. Surprised, I exclaimed, "You're horny?" without realizing my boss was right next to me. FML

#20604222
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51667) - you deserved it (22635)

On 04/19/2013 at 2:00am - intimacy - by Wallz99 (man) - Pakistan (Azad Kashmir)

Today, I'm 5 months pregnant. My 20-year-old boyfriend still refuses to tell his parents because he thinks he'll get in trouble. He thinks we can get away with "never telling them and just hiding the kid." FML

#20536957
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41907) - you deserved it (9800)

On 03/09/2013 at 12:42pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Pakistan

Today, I got stuck in traffic when a shootout started somewhere behind. I lowered myself and suddenly a bullet punctured a hole in the rear screen. When I managed to get away, I called my wife in a panic. She didn't pick up so I sent her a text about what just happened. Her reply: "K". FML

#20522482
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58754) - you deserved it (4321)

On 02/25/2013 at 11:33pm - intimacy - by n3ov (man) - Pakistan (Islamabad)

Today, our cleaning lady's son came to our house claiming that his mother had died of a heart attack. We gave him her entire month's salary as well as some extra money. A few hours later, our cleaning lady turned up for work. Turns out she doesn't have a son. FML

#17476916
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36685) - you deserved it (21915)

On 08/15/2011 at 1:45am - money - by duped (woman) - Pakistan (Punjab)

Today, I overheard my girlfriend telling her friend "Actually, its a good thing she died, she was quite a bitch." She was talking about my mother. FML

#16640973
370 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60531) - you deserved it (4380)

On 06/13/2011 at 5:11am - misc - by Bechara (man) - Pakistan (Punjab)

Today, I found out that my entire family thinks I have no friends, am expressionless (to quote, "a robot") and that my monotonous voice hints at the suppressed depression hidden deep inside me. According to them, I need psychic evaluation. It all came out at a family reunion. FML

#8993949
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23974) - you deserved it (3277)

On 03/11/2010 at 9:28am - misc - by talhabilal - Pakistan (Punjab)

Today, I got on a treadmill for the first time. I was running at a very high speed. I needed a break but didn't know how to get off. I decided to just let the machine take me to the edge so I could get off. I was thrown off the treadmill and landed with my happy sacks crashing into a dumbbell. FML

#7231973
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7998) - you deserved it (40258)

On 01/09/2010 at 5:17am - health - by King7 (man) - Pakistan (Sindh)



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