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FMLs submitted from Norway

Today, my dad saw on TV that in some parts of Africa, it's not uncommon for people to attach make-shift flamethrowers to their cars to defend against carjackers. He's now lost his mind and is forcing me to help him put one together to scare off Jehovah's Witnesses. FML

#20124199
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17969) - you deserved it (2013)

On 10/19/2012 at 5:39pm - misc - by Watchtower? More like fortress. (man) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, I woke up after having a dream which included sex with a very hot guy. I realized it's about time I get laid, because the hot guy was Brock from Pokémon. FML

#20119984
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31317) - you deserved it (6245)

On 10/16/2012 at 6:59pm - intimacy - by L (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)

Today, I was really impressed with the man I've been in a relationship with for over 2 years. He had finally really cleaned his apartment. Everything was washed and fixed, even my stuff was cleared from open surfaces. All so his lover would not find out about me. FML

#20094642
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24635) - you deserved it (2132)

On 09/30/2012 at 2:29am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, I realized just how clingy my boyfriend is, when he pulled out in the middle of sex, lay down and hugged me, and said in his "adorable" voice that he didn't really want to have sex, but cuddle. I wouldn't mind if it didn't happen so often. FML

#20088123
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29968) - you deserved it (4681)

On 09/25/2012 at 1:42pm - intimacy - by orgasmsareoverratedanyway (woman) - Norway (Nordland)

Today, my boss got angry at me because my English is better than his. He accused me of trying to steal his management position, and implied that I'll be lucky if I still have a job by the end of the month. FML

#20054257
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21870) - you deserved it (1467)

On 09/02/2012 at 3:41pm - work - by zoosmell pooplord - Norway (Buskerud)

Today, my daughter proudly showed me her new tattoo sleeve, which is made up of an angry cupcake, hemp leaves, and a My Little Pony character. She's almost 30, still unemployed, and still lives in my home. I now have no hope of her ever becoming a productive member of society. FML

#19987541
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24747) - you deserved it (7290)

On 07/27/2012 at 3:04pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Ostfold)

Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML

#19942412
378 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35476) - you deserved it (3264)

On 07/15/2012 at 7:13pm - kids - by Zora (man) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I went to the grocery store with three bags full of sausages that I'd drunkenly bought the night before. Even though the manager remembered me, he wouldn't give me a refund, and now I'll be lucky if I can pay my rent this month. FML

#19933310
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6542) - you deserved it (34219)

On 07/13/2012 at 4:13pm - misc - by minaaaaajftw (man) - Norway (Akershus)

Today, my over-protective husband went into an extreme fit of jealousy at the sight of me breast-feeding our newborn baby boy. He's trying to make me bottle-feed our boy, because apparently it's "wrong" to let another guy touch my boobs. FML

#19900187
328 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43577) - you deserved it (4445)

On 07/06/2012 at 1:44pm - love - by wife of a shithead (woman) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, a kid got his hand stuck inside my store's giant gumball machine. He started crying, and his negligent train-wreck of a mom bitched me out for being "unobservant." I'd been mopping up the mess she'd made after she spilled an open can of beer all over the floor. FML

#19839464
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27713) - you deserved it (1494)

On 06/24/2012 at 2:41pm - work - by hannaslifesucks (woman) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my dad. I thought it was a good idea at the time, at least until he took her aside for a private chat. During the chat, he told her all about my two previous marriages and advised her to "get out while you can". FML

#19720849
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25536) - you deserved it (6816)

On 06/02/2012 at 12:55pm - love - by Norwegian (man) - Norway

Today, it's been three weeks since I started using a hair-growth shampoo in the hopes of combating my balding. All it's done so far is make the hair I do have monstrously bushy, both upstairs and down. FML

#19658490
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17883) - you deserved it (3893)

On 05/21/2012 at 6:47pm - health - by bear - Norway (Nordland)

Today, I am defending a client on trial for perjury. She is a sweet girl and the first person I've loved in years, but she keeps doing everything she can to make herself look guilty in front of the jury. Now I'm having a daily crisis of conscience in the middle of the courtroom. FML

#19597965
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18297) - you deserved it (4960)

On 05/09/2012 at 3:34pm - love - by chieftain (man) - Norway (Vestfold)



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