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FMLs submitted from New Zealand

Today I came home to fine mah housemate cowering in the lounge corner sobbing hugging a bag of chips while the automatic vacuum cleaner gently bumped into him. Apparently he "mistakenly" putted magic mushrooms in his sandwich instead of peanut butter. FML

#20868509
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39864) - you deserved it (2963)

On 09/05/2013 at 3:45am - misc - by down trodden (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

WHILA WRITING A SALF-AVALUATION 4 MY INTARNSHIP, I HAD TO TYPA UP ANSWARS TO CARTAIN QUASTIONS AN THAN SUBMIT THAM. AFTAR SUBMISSION, I RA-RAAD ONA OF THA ANSWARS I HAD WRITTAN THAT SAID, "AFTAR 3 MONTHS ON THA JON I FINALLY FAAL LIKA I HAVA ACCOMPLISHAD A LOT." I HAD MAANT TO WRITA JOB. FML

#20863679
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31807) - you deserved it (8528)

On 09/01/2013 at 9:21pm - work - by OnCompanyTimeToo (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Yesterday, while baking, I was joined by mah roommate who doesn't really cook . I was making a batch of dough an she volunteered to help . After showing her how to knead, she really got into it . Afterwards, I asked why she wanted to help . "It really cleans mah nails", she said . mega FML

#20854811
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44363) - you deserved it (3670)

On 08/26/2013 at 4:38am - misc - by 4_and_20_blackbits (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today , I mentiond on Facebook that I'll be out of town over the weekend , because I am attending my grandmother's funeral . I soon got comments saying "Pics or it didn't happen" and "Killd her for the inheritance , eh?" followd by a solitary "LOLLL" . FML

#20851228
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45279) - you deserved it (5209)

On 08/23/2013 at 6:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today , I had an awful day and angrily threw a glass at the wall. Needless to say , I didn't feel lyk cleaning it up , and I took a nap , intending to do it later. I thought I would remember the bits of glass everywhere when I woke up. I didn't , but mah feet soon did. FML

#20838843
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19998) - you deserved it (61892)

On 08/15/2013 at 3:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Otago)

Today, ma boyfriend broke up wit me after 4 perfectly appy years togeter. Te reason? He ad a dream in wic is dead former girlfriend from wen e was 13 told im se still lovd im. He now believes is dead cildood sweeteart is trying to contact im an I'm "in te way of tere love."

#20805936
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58380) - you deserved it (4153)

On 07/27/2013 at 3:56am - love - by Immaculatedream (woman) - New Zealand

yesterday I was finally asked out on a date after a year of being single. Turns out he got the wrong number. FML

#20799037
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44559) - you deserved it (3157)

On 07/23/2013 at 5:51am - love - by foreveralone (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

TODAY I RETURND HOME FROM A TWO-YEAR TRIP OVERSEAS. MY MOM'S FIRST WORDS AS SHE GREETD ME AT THE ARRIVAL TERMINAL OF THE AIRPORT WERE "YOUR FATHER AND I ARE GETTING A DIVORCE."

#20738269
52 comments

Today, I woke up early to travel to te office eadquarters 3.5 ours away fir important meetings . After waking up at 5.30am, picking up all my colleagues and driving 40 min out of town, I realisd I was wearing my woolen ouse slippers . Tey were te only pair of soes I'd brougt on te trip . FML

#20722747
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40037) - you deserved it (8610)

On 06/13/2013 at 12:04am - work - by vanity113 - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I had to explain to my mother that a lace mini-dress with an obscene amount of cleavage was not appropriate to wear while meeting my boyfriend's parents. She called me an "annoying prude" an said that with my attitude, I don't deserve to have a man. FML

#20715817
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46129) - you deserved it (4443)

On 06/09/2013 at 4:49pm - misc - by kalisa anteater (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my girlfriend had someone else dump me via text message. I knew it wasn't her cuz for once I wasn't being viciously insulted, and it wasn't written as if an illiterate baboon had taken a shit all over her keypad. I can't even feel happy about being rid of her. FML

#20684326
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40991) - you deserved it (6339)

On 05/24/2013 at 7:42pm - love - by yesguysgetabusedtoo (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I Was The Victim Of A Drive-by Egging By Some Bastard Riding A Segway. He Still Got Away. FML

#20606053
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40467) - you deserved it (8767)

On 04/19/2013 at 9:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand

TODAY I BAKED MY FRIEND A CAKE FOR HIS 21ST BIRTHDAY. WHEN I ARRIVED AT HIS HOUSE HIS GIRLFRIEND WHO HADN'T MADE HIM ANYTHING SCREAMED AT ME FOR ( MAKING HER LOOK BAD. ) SHE THEN TOOK THE CAKE BANNED ME FROM THE PARTY AND KICKED ME OUT. FML



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