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FMLs submitted from New Zealand

Today, I discovered that my son has an allergy to cats. My partner of two years, not wanting to fight, suggested a compromise: that my son and the cat take turns sleeping outside. FML

#13521617
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28141) - you deserved it (5277)

On 10/20/2010 at 3:11am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I got so nervous that I actually peed my pants during a job interview. FML

#13521400
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27834) - you deserved it (12295)

On 10/20/2010 at 2:38am - work - by anonymous - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I had a wet dream about having sexual relations with a rubber duck. FML

#13373695
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29955) - you deserved it (8965)

On 10/09/2010 at 1:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I got hit by a Salami log thrown from a car; its metal wire cut my shoulder. I got scarred by a flying hunk of pig. FML

#13320249
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23965) - you deserved it (2357)

On 10/04/2010 at 7:31pm - misc - by ifpigsflew (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I failed my trigonometry exam because my scientific calculator was on the wrong setting. FML

#13192437
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16543) - you deserved it (40834)

On 09/25/2010 at 4:57am - misc - by trigfail - New Zealand (Taranaki)

Today, at work, a three year old chucked a chocolate bar at me. It hit me square in the face. Her father praised her for her "quality arm." FML

#13024649
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23748) - you deserved it (2699)

On 09/12/2010 at 8:08pm - misc - by tenthousandspoon - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I superglued my headphones back together. They weren't dry before I put them back in my ears. FML

Today, my fiancée broke up with me because of an argument about a printer. FML

#12716438
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31327) - you deserved it (5612)

On 08/24/2010 at 4:19am - love - by T.T (woman) - New Zealand (Waikato)

Today, I asked my boyfriend what he wanted for for his birthday in a couple of days. He replied "to be single" and walked out of the room. FML

#12449914
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40348) - you deserved it (4145)

On 08/11/2010 at 6:40am - love - by gutsforme (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I applied for a job and sent my CV, then realised I sent the example CV I got off the internet. Now they think Bob Brown who lives at 123 Sunshine Street is applying for a job. FML

#12261661
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9147) - you deserved it (34631)

On 08/02/2010 at 5:50am - work - by Julia (woman) - New Zealand (Otago)

Today, my fiancée told me she was having a bad day while we were lying in bed. Just as she was about to fall asleep I thought it would be sweet if I sang her a song that her Mom sang to her when she was a child. Instead, I was told to shut the fuck up and that I sucked. FML

#10962269
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36334) - you deserved it (14322)

On 06/04/2010 at 5:38am - love - by badsinger (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I fell asleep and dreamed that I had won $500,000. In my dream, I used this money to buy a new MP3 Player, and then put the rest in a term deposit. Even in my dreams, I'm the most boring person I know. FML

#10448158
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28251) - you deserved it (7265)

On 05/10/2010 at 6:14am - money - by boring (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I decided to quit smoking. During my lunch break, I tried to ash a KitKat bar that was in my hand after I took a bite. FML

#10166473
313 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25557) - you deserved it (15760)

On 04/26/2010 at 5:42pm - misc - by Michelle (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)



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