Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from New Zealand

Today, I experienced one of those moments in life you never forget. I walked into a homeless man masturbating in a parking garage stairwell. FML

#21525394
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (2499) - you deserved it (154)

On 02/12/2016 at 4:00am - intimacy - by scarredforlife (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, it was an extremely hot day so I hit up the beach for a swim. Just as I entered the water, the first wave approached me. I tried to jump it and lost my footing, managing to dislocate my hip. I had to be dragged from the water by the lifeguards. FML

#21520345
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19779) - you deserved it (2112)

On 01/28/2016 at 6:42am - misc - by water fail - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I finished a 2 hour Skype call with my girlfriend, only to realize I was using mobile data. FML

#21515848
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21435) - you deserved it (7043)

On 01/16/2016 at 7:54am - love - by tye61 (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I poured boiling water over my instant noodles. A freshly boiled cockroach also rolled out onto my noodles. FML

#21511938
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19977) - you deserved it (2010)

On 01/05/2016 at 10:05pm - misc - by delicious (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I found out how it feels to have a car door slammed shut on my hand, breaking two of my fingers. Hint: it's fucking painful. FML

#21509823
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20666) - you deserved it (1832)

On 12/31/2015 at 4:26pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand

Today, I went for a soak in a mineral hot pool to relax after a stressful day teaching middle school. There were 120 middle schoolers there on a school trip. FML

#21504328
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23837) - you deserved it (1887)

On 12/16/2015 at 4:10am - kids - by Teacher (woman) - New Zealand (Bay of Plenty)

Today, HR sent a review email to me asking me to anonymously tell them about my boss. I decided to use this opportunity to tell them what a dick he was. I printed off the review, filled it out, then scanned and emailed it to myself. Or so I thought. Turns out I'd sent the review to my boss. FML

#21498760
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18212) - you deserved it (17226)

On 11/30/2015 at 11:01pm - work - by jobless (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, after 3 months of successful business at my restaurant, sales are down the shitter. Why? Because some no-life troll started posting loads of bad reviews online. He uses different names, but nothing in the reviews has ever happened. We can't get the reviews taken down. FML

#21498071
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25869) - you deserved it (1527)

On 11/29/2015 at 2:05am - work - by jacobianscum (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my parents finally fulfilled my childhood dream and got a puppy, after years of me nagging at them. The only downside is that I no longer live at home and he's not mine. FML

#21496066
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20816) - you deserved it (2031)

On 11/23/2015 at 10:25pm - animals - by Haze (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I found my expensive lingerie I thought I had lost. In my 15-year-old brother's room. FML

#21494575
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24085) - you deserved it (2085)

On 11/19/2015 at 7:53pm - misc - by anon - New Zealand

Today, I walked into my living room to find my housemate sitting on the couch, bollock naked, trimming his pubes with scissors. He's surprised I have an issue with this. FML

#21483175
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21730) - you deserved it (1520)

On 10/22/2015 at 9:19pm - misc - by WellGroomed (man) - New Zealand (Waikato)

Today, I had an emergency appendectomy, so I texted my boss to let him know about the situation. He replied that it'd be good for my continued employment prospects if I come into work tomorrow. FML

#21475553
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23386) - you deserved it (1428)

On 10/03/2015 at 12:14am - work - by wormiformed (man) - New Zealand

Today, my mother told me I should volunteer in Africa, because I might "get lucky, catch malaria and come back skinny". FML

#21474470
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26034) - you deserved it (2206)

On 09/30/2015 at 2:47am - health - by strayy (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: