FMLs submitted from Netherlands

Today, I sent my father a text asking when he was finally coming to meet his 4-month-old granddaughter. His response? "I forgot." He forgot he has a granddaughter. FML

by Feronia / 03/18/2015 at 9:16am / Netherlands (Zeeland) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I worked up the courage to tell my girlfriend that I love her. She made a face like she'd just sucked on a lemon and said "Um... yay, I guess...?" and awkwardly left the room. FML

by Anonymous / 03/14/2015 at 7:04am / Netherlands (Flevoland) / Love

Today, what my friends call my "resting bitch face" freaked my boyfriend out enough during sex that he went soft inside me. FML

by sa la vash / 03/14/2015 at 4:22am / Netherlands / Intimacy

Today, my ex gave me a heartwarming speech about how much he wanted me back. After talking for hours and me finally wanting to get back together too, he started mentioning a date he has with a cute colleague. Conclusion: he wants to get back together, but still be able to fuck the entire world. FML

by donotbelieveinsecondchances / 03/02/2015 at 9:04am / Netherlands (Zuid-Holland) / Intimacy

Today, I figured out how my birth control works. If you're on your period for four months straight you can't have sex, so you won't be pregnant. FML

by irwingiggles / 02/08/2015 at 5:26am / Netherlands / Health

Today, my new boyfriend and I really wanted to have sex, but he went soft as soon as he entered me. This happens every time we try. I feel cursed by my year-long dry spell. FML

by Anonymous / 02/06/2015 at 9:32pm / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend of 5 days proposed to me at the mall. FML

by Anonymous / 02/04/2015 at 11:06am / Netherlands / Love

Today, somebody poured a cup of coffee down the back of my shirt. When I turned around, I saw a man who said, "You looked like my ex from behind!" and ran off. FML

by Anonymous / 02/03/2015 at 2:03pm / Netherlands (Limburg) / Love

Today, I had a job interview. The interviewer blatantly farted as I sat down, then she sneered, "Making yourself comfortable, I see..." FML

by fartje / 01/25/2015 at 1:21pm / Netherlands / Work

Today, since my finals are starting tomorrow, I made a joke about setting my math books on fire. I laughed. Friends laughed. Parents laughed. Guess what subject just managed to actually get in touch with my scented candles? FML

by not laughing anymore / 12/11/2014 at 2:55pm / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had sex for the first time with my first boyfriend. We broke up 6 years ago. FML

by Sansa / 10/22/2014 at 5:30pm / Netherlands (Gelderland) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend and I were roleplaying therapist and patient in bed. When I playfully asked him what bothered him, he told me his mother hates him and burst into tears. FML

by notatherapist / 10/01/2014 at 7:08pm / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Intimacy

Today, while on the bus, a friendly-looking guy smiled at me, so I smiled back. He then pointed at my teeth and said, "You gonna get those fixed, or just keep them as a conversation starter?" FML

by jewelthewat / 09/19/2014 at 8:52am / Netherlands (Utrecht) / Transportation

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.