FMLs submitted from Malaysia

Today, I wanted to punish a student for being late. I decided to start a pop quiz before he arrived. I was positive there wasn't enough time for him to finish. He scored full marks and I couldn't say a word. FML

by K_M / 08/23/2010 at 12:18am / Malaysia (Selangor) / Kids

Today, someone switched my hairspray with bug spray when I didn't notice. I used it. FML

by Anonymous / 05/29/2010 at 9:16am / Malaysia (Selangor) / Miscellaneous

Today, I signed in my msn messenger. Everyone in my friends list apparently changed their status to 'busy' or 'away' when they saw me online, including my crush. FML

by everyonehatesme / 05/02/2010 at 4:37am / Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur) / Geek

Today, I wrapped a towel around my waist so I could take a dump while using my laptop. I sat on the toilet seat and let a big load go. Turns out I forgot to unwrap the towel. FML

by TowelSmellsNice / 04/16/2010 at 8:34am / Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur) / Health

Today, I learnt that if you accidentally sit on a hamster, instead of dying, it bites your testicles. FML

by ItHurtsLIkeHell / 03/01/2010 at 4:13am / Malaysia (Pulau Pinang) / Animals

Today, I spilled some milk on my laptop. I was pretty sure it would be fine as it was only a bit of milk. While cleaning the residue, I knocked a whole bucket of water into the insides of the laptop. RIP Macbook. FML

by NC / 02/11/2010 at 2:32am / Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my girlfriend has more armpit hair than me. FML

by manutdlol / 12/13/2009 at 1:15am / Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur) / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw my favourite shirt on the floor of my dorm's bathroom. Feeling too lazy to bend down, I used my feet to "flick" the shirt up. Apparently, some drunkard took a dump on the floor and used my shirt to cover it up. I now have shit all over my feet, hands and the wall in front of me. FML

by CrapFeet / 12/11/2009 at 9:11am / Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while stepping out of the shower, I slipped and cut my head. I went to the hospital, got 8 stitches and was tested for head trauma. After hours of ignoring my calls and texts, my girlfriend finally responded, very angrily. Why? Today is her birthday, and I "selfishly made it about me." FML

by michelle91 / 12/02/2009 at 6:36am / Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur) / Health

Today, my girlfriend's parents wanted to cook dinner for me. After a whole day of cooking up a storm, her parents cooked an elaborate meal of roast lamb, pork chops and grilled chicken. Rejecting a meal is like spitting in ones face in Chinese culture. I'm vegetarian. FML

by NickC / 11/28/2009 at 7:40pm / Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur) / Miscellaneous

Today, after burning all my past-papers, books and notes in celebration of finishing maths forever, I found out I have to re-take my maths exam to get the minimum grade for college. FML

by NickC / 11/28/2009 at 5:16am / Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that our water tank has had a dead crow rotting in it for days. I took showers and brushed my teeth with dead crow soup. FML

by aqua88 / 11/05/2009 at 10:26am / Malaysia (Selangor) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in the toilet when somebody started banging on the door loudly. I panicked and immediately cleaned my self and opened the door. As I opened the door, my brother vomited all over me. FML

by thisisbad / 10/12/2009 at 10:21am / Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur) / Miscellaneous