FMLs submitted from Japan

Today, we got a call that my brother stuck a rock up his nose and couldn't get it out. My mom had to pick him up and take him to the hospital. My brother is 20. FML

by littlebigbrother / 05/23/2012 at 2:13am / Japan / Miscellaneous

Today, as I got off the bus, I saw a girl counting her change making sure she had enough for the ride. Since it was my last stop for the day, I offered my day pass to her. She replied, "Get away, freak." FML

by calidreaming / 05/09/2012 at 10:40am / Japan (Osaka) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend gave me a hickey. On my forehead. FML

by IloveJapan / 04/02/2012 at 10:02am / Japan / Love

Today, I slipped in a pile of vomit someone left for me on the train platform on the way to work, spraying puke all over both of my legs. It's only 6:30am. It's going to be a long day. FML

Today, I told my mom about an article I'd seen that said people tend to make the most mistakes at 2 to 3 in the morning. Without a trace of humor in her voice, she said, "Tell me about it. You were conceived round about then." FML

by fmlsomuch / 02/25/2012 at 3:51pm / Japan / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at a Buddhist shrine and wanted to light a candle for my friend who's having a rough time, when I got stung by a bee. I spent the next hour with a swollen shoulder. How does karma work again? FML

by thairsha / 02/09/2012 at 6:05am / Japan / Health

Today, I found out that due to the fact that I got divorced, the insurance for my car is going up. A year after she took everything, she is still costing me money. FML

by dust / 01/27/2012 at 1:54am / Japan / Transportation

Today, my girlfriend referred to her yeast infection as "making bread." I can never look at bread the same way. FML

by themuffinman / 12/27/2011 at 10:15am / Japan / Health

Today, I had my parents over at my new apartment. As I was telling them how quiet and peaceful my new place is, we could hear my neighbors talking nasty to each other before launching into a full-blown sex ordeal. FML

by holler / 09/15/2011 at 12:22am / Japan (Tokyo) / Intimacy

Today, I went into a crowded store and tried out a blazer. I was thinking to myself how hot I looked in it when the manager tapped me on the shoulder and politely said, "Excuse me sir, that's a ladies' blazer." FML

by Fred / 08/05/2011 at 1:45am / Japan / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to come to terms with the fact that I'm getting older because my pubic hair is turning white. FML

by davidthegreat / 07/05/2011 at 4:27am / Japan / Intimacy

Today, I wrote in my own yearbook with different styles of handwriting so my mom would think I have friends. FML

by nofriends / 06/01/2011 at 12:28am / Japan (Tokyo) / Miscellaneous

Today, while all the other marines got to fly around the island on a helicopter, I got stuck on gear guard. What was I guarding? The staff sergeant's parking spot. FML

by rogerusmc23 / 05/23/2011 at 10:41pm / Japan (Tokyo) / Work