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FMLs submitted from India

Today, I finally got the courage to confess my feelings to the guy I have loved for a year now in a long note. He called half an hour later and said, "I'm not going to read this crap, just tell me what it says". FML

#20535268
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32255) - you deserved it (7372)

On 03/07/2013 at 10:53pm - love - by hoolabaloo (woman) - India (Gujarat)

Today, I was moving into my new apartment. The previous owner had refused to move out until today, and when I got there, I realized I didn't have a key. I was about to call him when I found out I didn't need to; he took the door. FML

#20486186
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28639) - you deserved it (1945)

On 01/30/2013 at 12:25pm - misc - by jeoak - India

Today, I saw a lady who had fainted. I ran over to help, only to find out that she was unstable and had a knife in her hand. She was pointing it at me, and growled threateningly every time I tried to move away. It took the cops an hour to defuse the situation. FML

#20484368
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33818) - you deserved it (2415)

On 01/29/2013 at 4:48am - misc - by thegirlofthedad (woman) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, my misanthropic malcontent of a son smashed my air freshener and turned my faulty lava lamp on in a twisted act of rebellion. The bottom of the lamp broke and got wax everywhere. My room now smells like cinnamon, with a hint of freshly embalmed corpse. FML

#19066178
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23199) - you deserved it (4450)

On 02/13/2012 at 4:31pm - kids - by Username - India

Today, the man of my dreams kissed me. It was everything I had imagined it would be until in the middle of the kiss, he burped. FML

#18991007
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29739) - you deserved it (3570)

On 02/04/2012 at 9:52am - love - by ac-hoo (woman) - India (Delhi)

Today, I accidentally told my mom to ejaculate the flash drive from the PC. FML

#18976293
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17400) - you deserved it (22013)

On 02/02/2012 at 1:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - India

Today, my parents want me to become a lawyer, all because our family members keep getting into feuds and court cases. I'm a successful developer, and run my own company. FML

#18782870
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23893) - you deserved it (2245)

On 01/12/2012 at 5:14am - work - by me_the_maniak - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I slashed my ass open with a shard of glass. How? I was making out with my crush, and threw my glasses on the ground. I forgot about them when we decided to lie down. FML

#18774764
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12748) - you deserved it (31430)

On 01/11/2012 at 12:19pm - intimacy - by Dockin (man) - India

Today, I received a letter from the state saying my 14-year-old daughter is now legally recognized as a male. I have no idea what happened. FML

#18766108
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44482) - you deserved it (4545)

On 01/10/2012 at 12:43pm - kids - by Anonymous - India

Today, my mum read a forwarded email, and is now convinced that eating processed food will make my ovaries shrink and disappear. Now she goes batshit crazy if she sees me eating potato chips. FML

#18684418
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24821) - you deserved it (2512)

On 01/02/2012 at 7:18am - health - by sohungry (woman) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I went to a dinner party. I had a bad stomach, so I made a dash to the bathroom and forgot to lock the door. While I was in, I heard some voices outside. In a panic, my reflex was to get up and lock the door. I did so, while simultaneously shitting all over myself. FML

#18205995
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27523) - you deserved it (10757)

On 11/09/2011 at 10:15pm - health - by stinkypants - India

Today, I was online looking up ways to lose weight, get thinner and be healthier, all the while eating a slab of brownie that was half the size of my head. FML

#17743433
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7809) - you deserved it (48506)

On 09/14/2011 at 10:27am - health - by Fattymuch (woman) - India (Karnataka)

Today, it's my birthday. I've been dropping strong hints all year about wanting to learn to tap-dance, hoping for some decent tap shoes. Instead, I got a beekeepers outfit and some furry dice to hang on my wreck of a car's rear-view mirror. FML

#17619840
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20803) - you deserved it (3516)

On 08/30/2011 at 8:16am - misc - by wtf (man) - India (Delhi)



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