FMLs submitted from India

Today, my boss asked if I could spare a few minutes to finish off the last of his paperwork backlog. I'm pretty desperate for a raise, so I said sure. Turns out the "small", "should-take-a-few-minutes" backlog consists of 3 desk-high stacks of documents. Goodbye, cruel world. FML

by Anonymous / 04/25/2015 at 8:58am / India (Maharashtra) / Work

Today, the girl I've been seeing for less than a week started raging and ended up threatening me with a knife, after I shot down her idea of getting married next month. FML

by Anonymous / 04/04/2015 at 6:16am / India / Love

Today, during work hours, I took time off and discreetly went for an interview for a prospective job at our rival company. As soon as I reached the place, I bumped into my current boss. FML

by eaglesmile / 04/03/2015 at 12:37am / India (Maharashtra) / Work

Today, my best friend confessed to having feelings for me. I've been in love with her for a long time, so I was ecstatic. She doesn't see herself ever going out with me, though, because she's a couple of inches taller and can't imagine herself "towering" over her man. FML

by falling short / 03/20/2015 at 11:26am / India (Maharashtra) / Love

Today, I took my son to the playground and watched him have fun. Minutes later, I was being shoved around and called a pedophile because I was there alone with no wife. By the time I convinced them I was innocent, my son was bawling. FML

by pledonasm / 03/15/2015 at 12:11pm / India (Maharashtra) / Kids

Today, after a 7 year dry spell, I finally got laid. The downside? It was in my dreams and involved a character from My Little Pony forcing itself on me. Now I hate that fucking stupid show more than ever. FML

by love and tolerape, apparently / 03/01/2015 at 2:24pm / India (Jharkhand) / Intimacy

Today, my fiancé and his family accused me of being with him only because he's rich, refusing to go ahead with the wedding. I accepted his marriage proposal 4 years ago, when he was penniless and unemployed. FML

by Anonymous / 02/24/2015 at 10:10am / India (Tamil Nadu) / Love

Today, I woke up to the sight of a dead fly on my bedside table, being eaten by a swarm of ants. I screamed so bad that my dad said he thought my sister was being murdered in my room. FML

by liilii / 08/30/2014 at 12:40pm / India (Kerala) / Animals

Today, while at the bakery, I stood there trying to pick between black forest and dark chocolate. The salesman said kindly, "I've heard dark chocolate helps you lose weight. Yeah, you'd definitely want dark chocolate." FML

by Lika1712 / 08/26/2014 at 6:55pm / India (Maharashtra) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found a piece of erotic fiction on my brother's computer. It involved two lesbian teenagers, who just so happened to have the same names and physical descriptions as my sister and me. FML

by Anonymous / 08/09/2014 at 11:43am / India (Maharashtra) / Geek

Today, I caught my dog drinking from the toilet. After yelling at him, his apology was licking my face. FML

by dogggg / 07/13/2014 at 10:10pm / India (Maharashtra) / Animals

Today, my boss was fired by the board. A few days ago, he dropped several strong hints that he was going to promote me soon. FML

by Anonymous / 05/07/2014 at 4:57pm / India (Jammu and Kashmir) / Work

Today, I work at a food joint as a chef, and a customer found a long strand of hair in her food. The manager blamed me, even though I'm bald. FML

by notmine / 04/19/2014 at 10:39pm / India (Delhi) / Work