FMLs submitted from India

Today, I've been calling my girlfriend by her nickname for so long, I had to reactivate my Facebook account to find her real name. FML

by Anonymous / 09/02/2015 at 9:56am / India (Tamil Nadu) / Miscellaneous

Today, is my five year anniversary. My boyfriend said he was gonna get me something shiny this year. I thought he was gonna propose. He got me a set of sparkle glue. FML

by Anonymous / 08/26/2015 at 3:45am / India (West Bengal) / Love

Today, my husband wanted to use bacon grease as lube. FML

by fuck no / 08/22/2015 at 6:18am / India (Kerala) / Intimacy

Today, I was trying to work out, and couldn't even complete an exercise regime meant for 50-year-olds. I'm 24. FML

by Anonymous / 07/21/2015 at 1:50pm / India (Karnataka) / Health

Today, I stayed over at my boyfriend's house for the first time. He soon found out about my sleep-talking habit. I started ranting about "electron shaming" and I apparently passionately support their "sub-atomic lifestyle". Yes, he managed to get it on video. FML

by wantmeasandwich / 07/10/2015 at 12:57pm / India (Maharashtra) / Miscellaneous

Today, I confronted my boss for his inadequate contribution in our work. He accepted his inadequacy and apologized for not doing enough. He now expects me to work on everything singlehandedly since he has already clarified his inadequacy. FML

by varunet2004 / 06/11/2015 at 3:50pm / India / Work

Today, at a party I got blind drunk and I gave a guy a blowjob for the first time. I'm a 100% heterosexual male. FML

by Anonymous / 05/08/2015 at 12:59pm / India (Delhi) / Intimacy

Today, my boss asked if I could spare a few minutes to finish off the last of his paperwork backlog. I'm pretty desperate for a raise, so I said sure. Turns out the "small", "should-take-a-few-minutes" backlog consists of 3 desk-high stacks of documents. Goodbye, cruel world. FML

by Anonymous / 04/25/2015 at 8:58am / India (Maharashtra) / Work

Today, the girl I've been seeing for less than a week started raging and ended up threatening me with a knife, after I shot down her idea of getting married next month. FML

by Anonymous / 04/04/2015 at 6:16am / India / Love

Today, during work hours, I took time off and discreetly went for an interview for a prospective job at our rival company. As soon as I reached the place, I bumped into my current boss. FML

by eaglesmile / 04/03/2015 at 12:37am / India (Maharashtra) / Work

Today, my best friend confessed to having feelings for me. I've been in love with her for a long time, so I was ecstatic. She doesn't see herself ever going out with me, though, because she's a couple of inches taller and can't imagine herself "towering" over her man. FML

by falling short / 03/20/2015 at 11:26am / India (Maharashtra) / Love

Today, I took my son to the playground and watched him have fun. Minutes later, I was being shoved around and called a pedophile because I was there alone with no wife. By the time I convinced them I was innocent, my son was bawling. FML

by pledonasm / 03/15/2015 at 12:11pm / India (Maharashtra) / Kids

Today, after a 7 year dry spell, I finally got laid. The downside? It was in my dreams and involved a character from My Little Pony forcing itself on me. Now I hate that fucking stupid show more than ever. FML

by love and tolerape, apparently / 03/01/2015 at 2:24pm / India (Jharkhand) / Intimacy