FMLs submitted from Germany

Today, while working in a customer service call center, a customer berated me for using a fake name. He said my name is "too stupid" to be real and that no sane person would ever use it. It was my real name. FML

by mynameisnotstupid / 03/18/2016 at 11:05am / Germany (Bayern) / Work

Today, it appears that moth larvae can make a water boiler their home, especially during my absence for four weeks. I learned it the hard way by pouring their boiled carcasses over my noodles. FML

by notgonnaeatthat / 03/17/2016 at 4:40pm / Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg) / Animals

Today, the company I work for decided to herald the step to becoming fully digital by hanging physical passive-aggressive flyers everywhere, urging everyone to go digital. Might as well have written, "Save the trees" on them. FML

by tdtf / 03/16/2016 at 5:11am / Germany (Bayern) / Work

Today, my dad posted on Facebook, apologizing to anyone he'd texted the night before. He said he'd gotten wasted and didn't mean anything he said. So much for that first ever "I'm proud of you" then. FML

by gayvsgay / 03/06/2016 at 10:31am / Germany (Saarland) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend had a complete breakdown. I was trying to calm her down and reassure her that she will accomplish all of her dreams. Her response: "Then why am I even with you?" FML

by stillloveherthough / 02/26/2016 at 12:54pm / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Love

Today, I heard a noise in my garage so I grabbed a baseball bat and went to look. The skunk I stirred was actually better armed than me. FML

by moosemay / 02/06/2016 at 6:42am / Germany (Bayern) / Animals

Today, I realized how much of a nutter my mother really is as she decided to write on a high visibility vest a "warning" that all foreigners, especially refugees, want to rape German women. She now wants to wear it each and every day in our hometown. FML

by ashamed / 01/20/2016 at 2:00pm / Germany / Miscellaneous

Today, I took my two-year-old daughter to the dentist for her first check-up. We were at the front desk when she tripped, fell and chipped her front tooth on the marble floor. FML

by moosemay / 01/19/2016 at 12:03pm / Germany (Bayern) / Kids

Today, I went to the hairdresser for the first time in the country I just moved to. Guess I don't speak the language as well as I thought. FML

by hrmpf / 01/19/2016 at 9:37am / Germany (Bremen) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband taught our son how to pee while standing. His aim is as poor as my husband's, but I guess now they can blame their mess on each other. FML

by moosemay / 01/14/2016 at 10:05am / Germany (Bayern) / Kids

Today, I went to the doctor's because I could feel something solid in my breasts, and I wanted to get it checked, just to be safe. Turns out it was my ribs. Oops. FML

by Lara / 01/08/2016 at 6:28am / Germany (Bremen) / Health

Today, I recently burned both my hands at work so I had to ask my husband for help changing my tampon, but he refused saying it would make him feel sick. This from the man who routinely sticks his tongue in my asshole when we have sex. FML

by anne / 01/07/2016 at 7:00am / Germany / Intimacy

Today, I visited the hospital with my boyfriend to have an injury checked. When the doctor removed the band-aid, my boyfriend started screaming and passed out. I had to get him out of the room using a wheelchair. The "injury" is a cut in his finger. FML

by tessisue / 01/04/2016 at 6:18am / Germany / Health