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FMLs submitted from Germany

Today, my fiancé finally went to a therapy session with me because of the difficult circumstances we are facing. Afterwards, he shouted at me for "talking to someone about our problems". I told him that's kind of the point of therapy. Now he's sulking. FML

Today, I put one of those checkout dividers in front of my groceries on the conveyor belt in the supermarket. The guy standing in front of me turned around, looked me straight in the eye and said "I don't trust you." as he put a second divider between our groceries. FML

#21490307
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22348) - you deserved it (2421)

On 11/09/2015 at 9:07am - misc - by Quendolin - Germany

Today, my boyfriend had the choice of A) living alone gaming, or B) moving in with me, gaming in his own man-cave, lots of sex, and lots of pizza. He chose choice A. FML

#21487379
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28863) - you deserved it (4845)

On 11/02/2015 at 2:25pm - love - by Anonymous - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, while shopping, I stepped a bit closer to a couple that stood in front of a display. The girl then shot me a nasty look, grabbed her boyfriend and started pointedly making out with him. I was just trying to buy some butter. But thanks for reminding me how lonely I am. FML

#21486444
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23881) - you deserved it (1709)

On 10/31/2015 at 9:23am - love - by It wasnt even that close (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I decided it was time to have "the talk" with my daughter, after I found a thong in the washing machine. She denied it was hers and pointed out how it was too big to fit her. I ended up having a very different talk with my son. FML

#21485867
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27390) - you deserved it (2743)

On 10/29/2015 at 4:02pm - kids - by caroline (woman) - Germany

Today, my life became a lot more depressing. A while ago, some friends and I founded a "Forever Alone" club, because all of us were single at that time. I'm now the only member left. FML

#21481449
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24607) - you deserved it (2851)

On 10/18/2015 at 1:06pm - love - by Lena (woman) - Germany

Today, I brutally stabbed a guy to death for smiling at me, then puked and fainted. Then I woke up in bed, panicking, sweating like a pig and crying because I thought my dream was real and I was going to go to prison. I'm never taking sleeping medication again. FML

#21472635
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24768) - you deserved it (2310)

On 09/25/2015 at 4:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Germany

Today, going through my late grandmother's papers, I found out that my grandfather had never been in the Nazi party. The reason he was not allowed to work as a teacher was that he had never passed his university exams. He found an invented Nazi past less shameful than academic failure. FML

#21470925
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22160) - you deserved it (1603)

On 09/21/2015 at 7:32am - misc - by notanazigrandchildafterall (woman) - Germany (Sachsen)

Today, it was my dad's retirement. He is traditional Japanese, so I had custom-ordered a samurai sword from a traditional Japanese blacksmith with dad's name engraved on the blade in kanji script. He loved it, right up til my drunk cousin tried to use it to cut down a tree and snapped it in two. FML

#21469447
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27875) - you deserved it (1525)

On 09/17/2015 at 7:13am - misc - by Ryoichi (man) - Germany

Today, I heard my boyfriend telling a female friend that his ex was so gorgeous and out of his league that it made him feel inadequate, and so he now only dates within reach. She told him he's hot enough to have anyone he wants. 30 seconds later they were tongue-deep in each other's throat. FML

#21469110
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26541) - you deserved it (1838)

On 09/16/2015 at 7:25am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Hessen)

Today, I agreed to stay a week with my wife's parents, who she told me were traditional Japanese. I was prepared for having to wear Japanese clothes while in the house, but I wasn't prepared for communal bathing in the same huge bath with her father, grandfather, uncle and two brothers. FML

#21463801
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23101) - you deserved it (2323)

On 09/02/2015 at 4:13pm - misc - by Alan (man) - Germany

Today, I thought I'd locked my house keys in my locker at work. Not having any replacement nearby, I decided to cut the padlock with the saw of my pocket-knife. It took 20 minutes and four cuts into my hand to destroy the padlock. It took another five seconds to find the missing key in my jacket. FML

#21463029
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10900) - you deserved it (19885)

On 08/31/2015 at 4:01pm - misc - by Lockout (man) - Germany (Schleswig-Holstein)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I said I wouldn't find her attractive in 20 years. What I actually said was that I wouldn't sleep with her mother now, who happens to be 20 years older than her. FML

#21460448
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24438) - you deserved it (3127)

On 08/25/2015 at 7:55am - love - by Shelling Ford - Germany (Bayern)



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