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FMLs submitted from Germany

Today, I heard a noise in my garage so I grabbed a baseball bat and went to look. The skunk I stirred was actually better armed than me. FML

#21523316
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17495) - you deserved it (1753)

On 02/06/2016 at 6:42am - animals - by moosemay (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I realized how much of a nutter my mother really is as she decided to write on a high visibility vest a "warning" that all foreigners, especially refugees, want to rape German women. She now wants to wear it each and every day in our hometown. FML

#21517384
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17488) - you deserved it (1499)

On 01/20/2016 at 2:00pm - misc - by ashamed - Germany

Today, I took my two-year-old daughter to the dentist for her first check-up. We were at the front desk when she tripped, fell and chipped her front tooth on the marble floor. FML

#21516953
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20091) - you deserved it (1338)

On 01/19/2016 at 12:03pm - kids - by moosemay (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I went to the hairdresser for the first time in the country I just moved to. Guess I don't speak the language as well as I thought. FML

#21516917
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20327) - you deserved it (2704)

On 01/19/2016 at 9:37am - misc - by hrmpf (woman) - Germany (Bremen)

Today, my husband taught our son how to pee while standing. His aim is as poor as my husband's, but I guess now they can blame their mess on each other. FML

#21515142
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20813) - you deserved it (1684)

On 01/14/2016 at 10:05am - kids - by moosemay (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I went to the doctor's because I could feel something solid in my breasts, and I wanted to get it checked, just to be safe. Turns out it was my ribs. Oops. FML

#21512779
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18047) - you deserved it (7771)

On 01/08/2016 at 6:28am - health - by Lara (woman) - Germany (Bremen)

Today, I recently burned both my hands at work so I had to ask my husband for help changing my tampon, but he refused saying it would make him feel sick. This from the man who routinely sticks his tongue in my asshole when we have sex. FML

#21512451
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28411) - you deserved it (3303)

On 01/07/2016 at 7:00am - intimacy - by anne (woman) - Germany

Today, I visited the hospital with my boyfriend to have an injury checked. When the doctor removed the band-aid, my boyfriend started screaming and passed out. I had to get him out of the room using a wheelchair. The "injury" is a cut in his finger. FML

#21511306
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20177) - you deserved it (2050)

On 01/04/2016 at 6:18am - health - by tessisue - Germany

Today, as I passed a printout over my shoulder to my mum, I managed to give myself a papercut on my tear duct. FML

#21506874
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22193) - you deserved it (2509)

On 12/23/2015 at 12:11pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany

Today, I had to work late. Due to delayed trains and a missed connection, it was almost midnight when I finally got home. When I walked into the bedroom, I found my girlfriend wearing sexy lingerie and fast asleep. FML

#21504013
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27925) - you deserved it (2403)

On 12/15/2015 at 1:10pm - love - by Anonymous - Germany (Bayern)

Today, my husband put on a nice suit and asked me out to dinner. When he found out I was on my period, he decided to stay home instead, since there was "no point" anymore. FML

#21501460
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25244) - you deserved it (2451)

On 12/08/2015 at 12:14pm - love - by alexa (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I was walking on my crutches towards the bus through the rain. The bus driver looked into my eyes, punching the button to close the doors while I was still a few meters away. As he drove off, he kept his eyes on me, while I had to wait for another 15 minutes for the next bus in the rain. FML

#21499700
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21803) - you deserved it (1339)

On 12/03/2015 at 3:19pm - misc - by shaft2112 (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I went clothes shopping. I took my little daughter into the dressing room while I tried some clothes on. She somehow managed to open the door while I was changing. A lady outside then bitched me out for "exposing" myself to her kids. FML

#21497426
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22766) - you deserved it (1910)

On 11/27/2015 at 9:21am - misc - by streaker? (woman) - Germany (Niedersachsen)



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