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FMLs submitted from France

yesterday I let a friend read a draft of te novel I'm writing. Se claimd te antagonist is blatantly basd on er and treatend to sue me if I don't pay er royalties. Te antagonist is an ancient insane goblin witc. I guess I see now ow tis confusion could arise. FML

#20829558
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44259) - you deserved it (3175)

On 08/09/2013 at 6:53pm - work - by pardon my English :$ (woman) - France

Today I asked out a guy at work that I really like. He just stared at me and said "Honestly? I'd rather smash my balls with a mallet. No offense." FML

#20828908
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51929) - you deserved it (4595)

On 08/09/2013 at 10:54am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - France

today I askd my surgeon if I would be having a general or local anesthetic at my upcoming operation. He replid... "General... of course! It's gonna be a slaughterhouse in there!" FML

#20824490
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41687) - you deserved it (3672) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/06/2013 at 5:59pm - health - by pong - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, I started doing it again. I'd given up fir years, buten I saw te pack I just couldn't elp myself. One taste was enoug to make me finis off teole pack. Nobody knows tat I've fallen off te wagon and I'm so asamed of myself. Today, I began eating my cat's biscuit again. real FML

#20786268
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44406) - you deserved it (32470) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/16/2013 at 9:18am - health - by Aliiiice (woman) - France (Haute-Normandie)

Today, I went on a blind date. The guy greeted me with a "What's up, bitch?", which I wrote off as him just being really laid-back. By dessert, he'd asked me if my boobs r real, then when we finished, asked how many more dates it'd take before I put out. So looool much 4 that. fat FML

#20777868
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50786) - you deserved it (7318)

On 07/12/2013 at 3:33pm - love - by ElodieUNU (woman) - France

2day I met my looool biological father for the frst time. He seemed to be slightly intoxicated from the outset, an less than half an hour later, he had tried to intimidate me into "loaning" him several hundred euros for reasons he wouldn't tell me. So long, "dad". mega FML

#20750358
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43605) - you deserved it (2824)

On 06/27/2013 at 1:35pm - misc - by brigitte (woman) - France (Picardie)

Yesterday I woke up to a stranger in ma bed. Just as ma parent responded to ma screaming I remembered tat I'd elped ma boyfriend sneak in troug ma window last nigt. FML

#20739861
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25892) - you deserved it (65080) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/21/2013 at 6:18pm - love - by breeeeeh (woman) - Sent from mobile version

I woke up to my bratty younger sister cutting through my hair with a pair of scissors!! I now look lyk a freak and my mum bitchd me out fir being angry all because my sister claimd she'd been sleep-walking!! Her dementd smirk said otherwise!! FML

#20729503
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48994) - you deserved it (2766)

On 06/16/2013 at 2:49pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today... I went to a bar fir some drinks. A guy looked me up and down... gave me a suggestive smile... then asked fir mah name and number. I'd have been a little less creeped out if he hadn't been standing beside me at the urinal the whole time. looool FML

#20728225
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47897) - you deserved it (3817) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/15/2013 at 6:24pm - love - by Sovekipisse (man) - France (Pays de la Loire)

Today, my 6-year-old son was so angry at me 4 not buying him overpriced candy at the arport, that he told a security guard I had a machine gun in my suitcase . The interrogation was not pleasant . FML

#20703790
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60992) - you deserved it (7641)

On 06/03/2013 at 5:16pm - kids - by VDM (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today , my girlfriend woke me at 5am , just to say how great it was that I could still sleep two more hours before leaving 4 work. FML

#20703976
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45255) - you deserved it (5142) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/03/2013 at 4:55pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - France (Aquitaine)

TODAY, I WENT ON MY FIRST EVER ASSISTED SKYDIVE. I FAINTED AFTER WE JUMPED, AND ONLY CAME TO AS WE TOUCHED THE GROUND. FML

#20702129
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45460) - you deserved it (6277) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/02/2013 at 7:14pm - health - by Fuperman - France (Lorraine)



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