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FMLs submitted from France

Today, I sent a text message to my boyfriend, saying "Come over in an hour, I love you." An hour later, the doorbell rang. It was my ex, looking happy and still as taken with me as before, with a bunch of roses. I'd got the wrong number. My ex and my boyfriend have the same name. FML

#432
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14173) - you deserved it (42146)

On 12/01/2008 at 11:57pm - love - by eleonor - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend told me that I was irrationally jealous. I’ve just learnt that she has a website where she masturbates in front of a webcam. FML

#426
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60096) - you deserved it (3826)

On 12/01/2008 at 1:09am - intimacy - by Maestro - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had an important interview. On the way there, I stopped in front of a car window to look at my reflection, checking I didn't have salad stuck between my teeth. Having pulled several faces, I realised that there were two girls inside the car, cracking up with laughter. FML

#419
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22455) - you deserved it (11654)

On 11/30/2008 at 5:51am - misc - by Groom - Sent from mobile version

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents. We all looked together at family photos on the computer. The first picture was a close up of my mother, bare breasts in full view. FML

#417
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33497) - you deserved it (2757)

On 11/29/2008 at 9:34pm - intimacy - by Rosies - Sent from mobile version

Today, my husband invited his boss and his wife to dinner. During the meal, I tasted the wine and apologised for its bad quality, somewhat annoyed: "Dont drink that, I'll go and look for another bottle." Unfortunately, it was our guests who had brought the wine in question. FML

#416
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25315) - you deserved it (10100)

On 11/29/2008 at 11:11am - misc - by Buzz - Sent from mobile version

Today, well actually last night, I did a full striptease for my girlfriend to "You can leave your hat on". When the song was over, I was then completely naked, she says to me : "Maybe we should have closed the shutters!" FML

#413
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34682) - you deserved it (11444)

On 11/29/2008 at 6:50am - intimacy - by ... - Sent from mobile version

Today, while shopping for a pair of shoes, I saw a pair I really liked lying around, so I sat down to try them on. Then, a man came up to me and pointed out that they were actually his shoes. FML

#407
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25467) - you deserved it (5940)

On 11/28/2008 at 5:28am - misc - by Gregory - Sent from mobile version

Today, my dad surprised me by moving my bed (involving disassembling and reassembling it) in my new room, because I couldn't find how I wanted to set it up. He also took care of putting back my vibrator between the mattress and the base, where it was hidden. FML

#405
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40595) - you deserved it (10695)

On 11/28/2008 at 3:50am - intimacy - by Sam - Sent from mobile version

Today, I haven't had sex for so long that my condoms have gone off. FML

#404
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34140) - you deserved it (7329)

On 11/28/2008 at 1:30am - intimacy - by clash - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was doing a Power Point presentation to the management committee. Outlook Express was still open, and right in the middle of the presentation, a window popped up notifying me of a new message. "Subject: our reply to your application for the post of Marketing Manager". FML

#403
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20701) - you deserved it (7888)

On 11/28/2008 at 12:35am - work - by Buzz - Sent from mobile version

Today, during a lunch I said "It must be awful to realize that you've been cheated on!". One of the men present had just found out that he had been. I then try to correct my tactlessness by saying "The worst must be when your wife leaves you for another woman". Which was also the case. FML

#399
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26573) - you deserved it (9515)

On 11/27/2008 at 7:34am - misc - by lovely-sweet - Sent from mobile version

Today, I heard my next door neighbour screaming as if someone was trying to slice her throat. Her window was open. Intrigued, I went onto my balcony and asked if everything was okay, and if she needed anything. She and her boyfriend shout back in unison: "We're F*ing, go away". FML

#398
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38877) - you deserved it (7879)

On 11/27/2008 at 3:52am - intimacy - by ehbe - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was in India. At the airport, the men and women were being searched separately. The guy welcoming us pointed me towards the women's area. I had to explain to him that I was a guy. It took 15 minutes. FML

#396
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30143) - you deserved it (3691)

On 11/27/2008 at 12:30am - misc - by ... - Sent from mobile version



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