FMLs submitted from France

Today, and for the last two weeks I have been preparing my girlfriend for a break up with nasty remarks. She has been finding me exceptionally funny. FML

by Olive / 12/18/2008 at 11:11pm / Love

Today, it's my birthday. It's 6.30 pm. I'm still the only person aware of what day it is. FML

by poorgary / 12/18/2008 at 6:46am / Miscellaneous

Today, I got fed up with my neighbor who has been coughing, night and day, for six months. I rang at her door to tell her about several remedies I know of to help, so I could sleep. I thus found out she has lung cancer. FML

by kisyfrot / 12/17/2008 at 10:38pm / Miscellaneous

Today, my sweetheart came round to drop off some underwear which I'd left at his house. Not all of what he brought was mine. FML

by Lilie / 12/17/2008 at 5:25am / Love

Today, I was telling off one of my friends, a fellow student of medicine, who was spending his evenings watching "House" instead of revising for our important exam, as I was. The topic mentioned in the episode came up in the exam. He got 4 points more than I did. FML

by Gen / 12/17/2008 at 4:40am / Love

Today, I picked up my computer which had been at the repair shop for two weeks. I quickly logged on to MSN to talk to the girl who I'd been hitting on for weeks. Her profile picture was a photo of herself with her new boyfriend. FML

by Falouila / 12/17/2008 at 2:15am / Love

Today, during dinner, my new girlfriend's father stroked my leg several times under the table with his bare foot. FML

by bloom / 12/16/2008 at 11:10pm / Love

Today, I found the password to my boyfriend's MSN account. I was listed in the "booty call" category. FML

by Gen / 12/16/2008 at 2:05am / Love

Today, my mistress called my wife on the phone. FML

by surfdown / 12/16/2008 at 12:20am / Love

Today, I needed to go to the toilet. Thinking that everyone had left work, I decided that, since I AM a Jedi, my penis ought to be my lightsaber. All of a sudden I hear a familiar voice: "At least someone is having fun!" It was my boss. FML

by lopez / 12/15/2008 at 10:58pm / Work

Today, I told myself: "Go on you big geek, go outside, get some sun, get your ass away from in front of your PC, go for a walk". I finally muster the courage to leave my house. Without my keys. I've been in an internet cafe for four hours. FML

by Dr_JF / 12/15/2008 at 2:11am / Miscellaneous

Today, I wanted to see if the frying pan was hot. I no longer have fingerprints. FML

by bip / 12/15/2008 at 12:36am / Miscellaneous

Today, my Art Director once again turned down a demo model (for an advertisement) that I'd been working on for a week. This time he took his belt off and started thrashing the model to pieces. FML

by Fuzy / 12/14/2008 at 10:24pm / Work