FMLs submitted from France

Today, my cats found a new game to play. They each sit on either side of the cat flap, and take turns hitting it. Clack, clack. Clack, clack. At 3 am. Clack, clack. Clack, clack. FML

by duncan74 / 12/09/2014 at 10:23pm / France (Midi-Pyrenees) / Animals

Today, my son told me the Christmas letter he wrote to Santa was a joke and he didn't want the stuff he asked for. I already bought everything. FML

by Amore / 12/09/2014 at 2:15pm / Kids

Today, to avoid walking on a thumbtack that had fallen on the floor, my little sister took a red sharpie to the carpet and drew a circle around it, "so that way, everyone will see it." FML

by punaise ... / 12/04/2014 at 9:12pm / France (Franche-Comte) / Love

Today, I was a bit upset to learn that my 13 year-old daughter had a boyfriend. When she noticed, she assured me that I shouldn't worry, because "it's just for sex anyway". FML

by aprouddaddy / 12/04/2014 at 6:46pm / Kids

Today, I went off for a jog. Outside, I saw my really cute neighbour, so in an effort to appear sporty, I accelerated and kept my head up. As I got close, I smiled at him, just when a huge fly flew right up my nose. FML

by Rizma / 11/27/2014 at 10:12am / France (Bretagne) / Love

Today, a customer limped over to me in one of the dishwasher aisles and asked if we sold dishwashers. I said yes and pointed at all the dishwashers. He looked around for a couple of seconds, belched, then said "Oh... right!" and walked off. No commission for me, then. FML

by ChimerV / 11/15/2014 at 1:20pm / France (Lorraine) / Work

Today, as my kitten was sleeping on my lap, my boyfriend crept up on us and yelled, "BOO!" to make me jump. I wasn't scared, but the cat was. He tensed up and jumped to the floor. He also apparently had the runny shits, spraying me and the couch on his way down. FML

by nenette / 11/12/2014 at 5:50pm / France / Animals

Today, while shopping, a lady came up to me and asked if she could borrow my baby because, "Y'know, I'm in a hurry and they'll let me checkout first." FML

by Anonymous / 11/11/2014 at 6:48pm / France / Kids

Today, I found out the only reason my boyfriend asked me out is because he thought I "looked like a girl who'd be into anal". FML

by analgirl / 11/09/2014 at 8:31am / Love

Today, I was stuck in the elevator at my building, so I pushed the emergency button which made a ringing noise. After half an hour, I hear someone yelling to the elevator, "Could you stop pushing that button, there are kids sleeping." FML

by Virginy / 10/31/2014 at 9:26pm / France / Transportation

Today, I cut myself pretty badly with a knife. I was bleeding quite a lot, so I yelled to my husband to bring me some kitchen roll, along with the first aid kit. He rushed in with the roll… to clean the floor. FML

by DiiiDiiine / 10/27/2014 at 10:22am / France (Limousin) / Health

Today, and for a long time, I've had a phobia of schools. I'm extremely stressed out about starting in a new school. Normal, right? Yes, except that I'm the teacher. FML

by IncompatibleMetier / 10/09/2014 at 7:07pm / France / Health

Today, in a supermarket, my four-year-old son whispered to me, asking if the checkout lady was able to wash between her fat rolls. She heard. FML

by super maman / 09/29/2014 at 11:08pm / France (Midi-Pyrenees) / Kids