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FMLs submitted from France

Today, my electric razor fell flat right after I had finished with my first cheek. And of course I don't have a manual one. FML

#362
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18135) - you deserved it (4403)

On 11/22/2008 at 2:02am - misc - by Goatkvlt - Sent from mobile version

Today, I should have given my first concert in front of a crowded audience. As we were about to go on stage my band decided to roll a joint outside. The cops just happened to pass by and now I'm on my own. FML

#360
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19273) - you deserved it (2954)

On 11/21/2008 at 11:42pm - work - by christous - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend came home with new condoms: Manix Endurance containing a numbing gel designed to help me "last longer". FML

#359
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31218) - you deserved it (9101)

On 11/21/2008 at 11:03pm - intimacy - by CoCo - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to rent a DVD with my 85-year-old grandpa. I was walking around and then realized I was alone. I looked for him for quite a while until I finally found him open-mouthed in the porn section. FML

#356
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25270) - you deserved it (2242)

On 11/21/2008 at 7:53am - misc - by Kourou - Sent from mobile version

Today, after a year together, my boyfriend admitted to me that in bed I had as much an effect on him as a crossword puzzle. FML

#354
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23164) - you deserved it (3394)

On 11/21/2008 at 5:06am - love - by Mary - Sent from mobile version

Today, my 14-year-old little sister asked me how I felt when I had my first sexual intercourse. I told her it was personal and was none of her business. She then looked at me and said "I thought it was nice". I'm 19 and I'm still a virgin. FML

#353
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42774) - you deserved it (5157)

On 11/21/2008 at 2:23am - intimacy - by KoNi - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was finally able to get to know a girl at university who I'd been eyeing up for months. We had a nice conversation. We discovered that we live in the same area, and so we talked about that. I told her that the little restaurant under my house was really disgusting. Her parents own it. FML

#352
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22278) - you deserved it (8013)

On 11/21/2008 at 12:40am - misc - by lpilou - Sent from mobile version

Today, when I woke up, my husband was already up. Thinking I hear him in the hall I shout out "come on, don't be shy, bring that cock in here right now!". A voice replies: "he's gone out to get some bread". It was my mother-in-law. FML

#351
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33455) - you deserved it (11133)

On 11/20/2008 at 10:41pm - intimacy - by Tinker-Bell - Sent from mobile version

Today, I get to see my boyfriend again after a month. So I decided to shave my pubic hair in the shape of a heart. After my little striptease, he gasped in admiration "Aaaw, Batman sign!" FML

#349
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22911) - you deserved it (10380)

On 11/20/2008 at 7:55am - love - by batgirl - Sent from mobile version

Today, it's my one year anniversary with my husband. I put on a sexy outfit, red dress and slinky underwear, and waited for him to get home. He walked in the door and asked me with a quizzical look if I was going out tonight. FML

#348
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22188) - you deserved it (2065)

On 11/20/2008 at 6:10am - love - by Ciabatta - Sent from mobile version

Today, after making love to my girlfriend, I realised that the phone was on the bed and because of the movements, it called my dad by itself. It went to voicemail. My dad will soon have all the details. FML

#346
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31348) - you deserved it (7789)

On 11/20/2008 at 5:19am - intimacy - by Maxime - Sent from mobile version

Today, while I was out, I was having a drink with a pretty girl. She started looking at my crotch and said, smiling, "There's something burning down there." I smiled, but she insisted. Ashes had set my trousers on fire. FML

#345
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17792) - you deserved it (3723)

On 11/19/2008 at 11:37pm - misc - by lageste - Sent from mobile version

Today, it's my birthday. My girlfriend gave me the present she bought for me. I said joking: "I hope it's not a tie!" It was a tie. FML

#343
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20083) - you deserved it (14071)

On 11/19/2008 at 6:33am - love - by Mazzam - Sent from mobile version



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