Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from France

Today, my girlfriend complained that I don't kiss her often enough. The problem is her breath. It's disgusting. I gently answer: 'Well, you don't kiss me often either!". So now she keeps kissing me. FML

#570
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8507) - you deserved it (38306)

On 12/22/2008 at 2:45am - love - by Julian - Sent from mobile version

Today, someone stole both rear view mirrors from my scooter. And where was the police? They were 500m down the road, waiting to stop me for not having any mirrors. FML

#569
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26640) - you deserved it (1750)

On 12/22/2008 at 12:43am - money - by daddy - Sent from mobile version

Today, I'm 65 years old, and I've been given a bottle of wine produced in the year I was born. The wine tastes foul; not a good omen. FML

#563
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19681) - you deserved it (2373)

On 12/21/2008 at 7:14am - misc - by Phil - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend told me that she woke up after yesterday’s party with someone else’s trousers. FML

#562
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20724) - you deserved it (1865)

On 12/21/2008 at 4:40am - love - by Yudor - Sent from mobile version

Today, I played a table tennis final in public. After winning, I went to shake my opponent's hand. He doesn't react or move. It was only the first set. FML

#560
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16496) - you deserved it (10831)

On 12/21/2008 at 2:00am - misc - by Bito - Sent from mobile version

Today, Father Christmas touched my ass in a shopping mall. I'm a bit worried about what's going to happen on Christmas Day. FML

#559
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20378) - you deserved it (2156)

On 12/21/2008 at 12:04am - misc - by Loola - Sent from mobile version

Today, as I was pressed for time, I opened some canned food for dinner. When my children were served, they said, "Mmm, this is best meal you've ever cooked for us!" I cook healthy, balanced meals every day. FML

#557
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21714) - you deserved it (7253)

On 12/20/2008 at 7:23am - kids - by Lola - Sent from mobile version

Today, I opened a packet of cereal and it exploded on my keyboard; now, my keyboard crackles. FML

#556
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15713) - you deserved it (10285)

On 12/20/2008 at 3:16am - misc - by Rabzouz - Sent from mobile version

Today, I woke up beside a disgusting guy I didn't know. He told me he was the best friend of the handsome guy I was hitting on yesterday evening. I can't remember at which point I got mislead into bringing the wrong one home. FML

#555
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5789) - you deserved it (26355)

On 12/20/2008 at 12:50am - misc - by elo - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had sex with a girl who cried out as she came "Forgive me Lord! Forgive me Lord!" FML

#552
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54002) - you deserved it (6583)

On 12/19/2008 at 11:05am - intimacy - by chicochico - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got ready to stay over at my boyfriend's house. I brought food, new lingerie, and I got a bikini wax. I did stay overnight, but I was holding a bucket for him because he had gastroenteritis. FML

#550
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20924) - you deserved it (2208)

On 12/19/2008 at 12:41am - love - by Carla J. - Sent from mobile version

Today, I decided to put my computer on slideshow mode. Did you know that hidden files are also read when you put slideshow on? I discovered this, as did my entire family, when my naked girlfriend appeared on the screen. FML

#549
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19426) - you deserved it (12129)

On 12/19/2008 at 12:17am - misc - by Mr Hawks - Sent from mobile version

Today, and for the last two weeks I have been preparing my girlfriend for a break up with nasty remarks. She has been finding me exceptionally funny. FML

#548
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6315) - you deserved it (33494)

On 12/18/2008 at 11:11pm - love - by Olive - Sent from mobile version



FML's blog

  • Angie's illustrated FML
  • Here we go again. This week I'm talking to you live from the Paris Japan Expo. I'm dressed up as Bernard from the Sailor Moon series, and I almost got kicked out because my katana wasn't the…

Friday 3 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: