FMLs submitted from France

Today, I went shopping with a friend. She went to try some clothes on and came out to ask for my opinion. "Hell no! That shirt is awful!". She wanted to show me the pants. The shirt was hers. FML

by noname / 01/04/2009 at 12:39am / Miscellaneous

Today, I withdrew $120 from the ATM at the hotel I'm staying at, only to have no money come out. When I talked to the concierge, who witnessed the whole thing, she said it had been happening all day and that the machine was broken. My bank says it's the hotel's problem, and the hotel says it's the bank's problem. Either way, I'm out $120. FML

by / 01/04/2009 at 12:24am / Money

Today, I got unbelievably drunk and pissed in the corner of my room, all over a plug socket, which blew out the electrics. FML

by Anonymous / 01/04/2009 at 12:22am / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried to cuddle Simon, my five year old son. He wriggled away and said: "If you need a teddy bear, go buy one! Or find another Simon!" FML

by sly / 01/03/2009 at 10:55pm / Kids

Today, to amuse my girlfriend I put on her sexy nightshirt and go out on the balcony for a smoke, wriggling about in front of her window. She laughs until one of her neighbors shouts "HELLO!" from the upper floor, grinning at the show. FML

by gabess / 01/03/2009 at 8:59pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I can hear my parents having sex in the next room. FML

by / 01/03/2009 at 11:48am / Intimacy

Today, I was eating at a nice restaurant. Feeling curious, I daringly asked for the surprise "Maiden's Dream" dessert. The waiter came back with a banana between two balls of ice-cream on a plate, and no spoon. FML

by [email protected] / 01/03/2009 at 3:38am / Miscellaneous

Today, when I came home, my daughter's baby-sitter was busy smelling my thongs. FML

by noname / 01/02/2009 at 10:26pm / Kids

Today, my mother bought me some "biodegradable" tissues. Indeed, they melted… in my hand. FML

by mc / 01/02/2009 at 9:12pm / Miscellaneous

Today, at 7 in the morning, I end up outside in a night dress, with bare feet and in the rain. I've just found out that my two year old son now knows how to close the patio door, which of course, has no outside door handle. FML

by lilou / 01/02/2009 at 8:22pm / Kids

Today, I have dark hairs growing on my chest, nipples and stomach... I'm a 19 year old girl. FML

by / 01/02/2009 at 1:06pm / Health

Today, my girlfriend confessed to me that she wants to dress me up with her clothes, with wig and makeup. FML

by / 01/02/2009 at 10:53am / Intimacy

Today, the only man who has ever fallen in love with me is bald. FML

by joe / 01/02/2009 at 6:09am / France (Auvergne) / Love