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FMLs submitted from Finland

Today, our new boss banned coffee from the workplace, comparing caffeine to hard drugs. His comparison may not be wrong; after two hours, I couldn't take it any more, and in between fantasising about his cold-blooded murder, I begged to be allowed just one last cup. FML

#21403720
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29416) - you deserved it (4564)

On 05/03/2015 at 1:58am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Finland

Today, my dad tricked the local biker gang into believing he's actually part of the Russian mob. FML

Today, I decided to be healthy and make a fresh juice out of carrots and apples. Apparently, something had gone bad and now my asshole feels like a bomb just went off inside it. Good start to a healthy lifestyle. FML

#21393477
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25286) - you deserved it (3578)

On 04/14/2015 at 11:08am - health - by howaboutthemcarrots - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I finished a painting I'd spent 3 weeks working on for an exhibition. When I came back from lunch, my cat was perched above it on my desk. He looked at me, then down at the painting, then jumped down onto it. He slipped and smeared the wet paint everywhere, ruining the whole thing. FML

#21317384
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32284) - you deserved it (5694)

On 12/14/2014 at 3:28pm - animals - by I'm Trading Up For A Dog (woman) - Finland (Western Finland)

Today, I found out that there's a very loud and frisky couple living above my bedroom, and a family with a crying baby living above my living room. At this rate, I'll end up sleeping in the bathtub in my own home. FML

#21288322
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31149) - you deserved it (2544)

On 10/30/2014 at 10:15am - misc - by ineedsleep (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I sat in on a university-level physics lecture, listening to my hyped-up co-students approximating the hypothetical situation of the Sun consisting of gerbils. The conversation then continued towards how much better energy/mass ratio the gerbil-sun would have compared to the actual star. FML

#21258867
88 comments

Today, in the small hours of the morning, my roommate's boyfriend kicked his foot through the thin wall separating our bedrooms during sex. They didn't even stop. FML

#20956290
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47889) - you deserved it (3871)

On 11/13/2013 at 1:08pm - intimacy - by BreakingTheMood (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I was babysitting a kid for the first time. She asked if she could watch a movie, so I downloaded Cinderella for her. An hour later, this 10-year-old girl was lecturing me about unrealistic standards of beauty and abusive relationships, and how I suck for liking the movie. FML

#20806393
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46872) - you deserved it (8253)

On 07/27/2013 at 1:51pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Finland

Today, I politely asked a man to not sleep on a tram stop that I had to clean. He got up, and while I leaned forward to pick up some trash from the ground nearby, I felt a warm stream on my back. Now I can't get the smell of urine off my clothes. FML

#20769987
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49107) - you deserved it (4399)

On 07/08/2013 at 1:57am - work - by FUCK.THIS.JOB. (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, my boyfriend's proposal speech somehow ended with him breaking up with me. FML

#20752113
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57529) - you deserved it (3891)

On 06/28/2013 at 8:23am - love - by confusedandnowsingle (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I was diagnosed with strep throat. My mom wasted no time accusing me of whoring around and claiming that most people get strep from performing oral sex. FML

#20750267
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43987) - you deserved it (3137)

On 06/27/2013 at 12:58pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Finland (Western Finland)

Today, while bagging my groceries at a store, a lady came over to me, took a good look at the food I'd bought, picked out an item and put it in her bag. When I confronted her, she called security on me and told them I wanted to steal her stuff. I got thrown out and she walked away with a smirk. FML

#20736762
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51291) - you deserved it (3340)

On 06/20/2013 at 4:35am - money - by what_the_hell (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I won an argument against a sexist co-worker. When I left later on, I jumped into my car to drive home, but managed to reverse it into a parked excavator. Guess who's going to hear virginal jokes about women drivers from now on. FML

#20735108
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35105) - you deserved it (16900)

On 06/19/2013 at 12:18pm - work - by fuck the man-dominated construction business (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)



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