FMLs submitted from Egypt

Today, my parents invited my Muslim boyfriend over for dinner for the first time. My mother made sure that everything including the salad had pork in it. FML

by Anonymous / 04/14/2012 at 7:10am / Egypt (Al Qahirah) / Love

Today, I walked in on my daughter trying to blow-dry the sweat off her armpits instead of showering. FML

by crazydaughter / 04/12/2012 at 8:51am / Egypt / Kids

Today, in geometry class, we were working in dead silence. Apparently my phone wasn't on vibrate, and I received 25 texts all at once, while it blasted "Hakuna Matataaaa" out of my back pocket. They weren't even texts from friends, just Facebook notifications. FML

by Makala / 12/03/2011 at 3:15am / Egypt (Al Qahirah) / Miscellaneous

Today, I decided to start exercising. I almost passed out five minutes into the warm up, and couldn't even stand in the shower afterwards. I'm only 21. FML

by Out of Shape / 08/16/2011 at 6:09pm / Egypt (Al Qahirah) / Health

Today, I asked out a girl I like to a movie. She said "I hate babysitting." FML

by Anonymous / 02/25/2011 at 7:17am / Egypt (Al Qahirah) / Love

Today, I woke up, patted my dog and kissed his nose. He was dead. FML

by Anonymous / 01/24/2011 at 12:40am / Egypt / Animals

Today, I was working on a 12-page report. After 5 hours on it, I go over to YouTube to change background music. My boss decides to pick this time to walk by, look at my screen, and grunt "hard at work, huh?" FML

by Anonymous / 12/09/2010 at 9:50am / Egypt (Al Jizah) / Work

Today, I felt the urge to sneeze, so out of instinct I looked away from the computer and sneezed to my left. The rotating fan was blowing at my direction at that moment, so I just sneezed on my own face. FML

Today, the man I was going to dinner with got me the most expensive necklace. We got to the table he had reserved when his friend comes and sits with us. Somehow the subject of getting it on comes up. My date then says "expensive jewelry - one way ticket to her pants". FML

by Anonymous / 05/18/2009 at 12:46pm / Egypt (Al Qahirah) / Love

Today, I decided to have sex for the first time with my boyfriend. It was his first time too. While in bed, he blankly stopped and stood up and got out a piece of paper from his pockets. Turns out, he had written instructions on what to do while in bed, and forgot what he had to do next. FML

by ufhdafuhds / 03/19/2009 at 7:31pm / Egypt (Al Qahirah) / Intimacy