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FMLs submitted from China

Today, I woke up to a repairman at my door who was simply supposed to turn my water back on in my apartment. Two hours and 5 repairmen later, all I have now is a large hole in my ceiling. Still no water. FML

#14928606
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27107) - you deserved it (2244)

On 02/10/2011 at 10:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - China

Today, while I was standing in the elevator with a few people I just met when I moved in yesterday, I felt something fall on my hair and dusted it off. It was a cockroach. None of them will come within a 1m distance to me now, because they all think I've got lice. Welcome to the building! FML

#8713665
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24372) - you deserved it (2258)

On 02/28/2010 at 8:44am - misc - by idonthavelice (woman) - China (Guangdong)

Today, while in the elevator with the girl from my office that I've been crushing on, but never spoken to, I said "aren't elevators awkward?" After a long silence, she got off three floors before our office. FML

#7774982
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13570) - you deserved it (25169)

On 02/01/2010 at 7:36am - misc - by wilsmith (man) - China (Beijing)

Today, I was having a conversation with my girlfriend about having kids. We were outside a hotel in front of those rotating glass doors. One of my friends ran at me as a joke, screaming like a caveman. I freaked out in a high pitched squeal, and tried to run inside the hotel. I ran in the wrong way. FML

#6992051
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7918) - you deserved it (24973)

On 12/28/2009 at 12:08pm - misc - by Spac3Ghost (man) - China (Beijing)

Today, I heard my newly divorced parents fighting about who gets to keep me. Neither of them want me. FML

#5893479
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62752) - you deserved it (4006)

On 10/19/2009 at 7:50am - misc - by cc10 (woman) - China (Beijing)

Today, as I was walking home, a friend passed me by on his moped, and sprayed a bunch of silly string at me. Unfortunately, he hit me in the eye, temporarily blinding me. As I stumbled around blind, I accidentally knocked a bunch of 3 year olds off their bikes, causing them to cry. FML

#5812873
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31869) - you deserved it (3029)

On 10/13/2009 at 6:09am - misc - by sillystring (man) - China (Beijing)

Today, after 9 months in our relationship, my boyfriend and I lost our virginity to each other. We had incredible, mind-blowing sex. An hour later, he broke up with me because apparently "my orgasm face is ugly." FML

#4031400
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75736) - you deserved it (9063)

On 07/25/2009 at 2:50pm - intimacy - by misopower (woman) - China (Henan)

Today, I began my job volunteering at an orphanage in Beijing, China, working with 7-year-olds who just started learning english. We played a game where, if you got caught, you had to sing a song. I got caught, so I chose the ABCs. They all knew the song perfectly, I missed 3 letters. FML

#3549560
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10135) - you deserved it (76520)

On 07/07/2009 at 8:20am - misc - by BigBallah93 - China (Beijing)

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house for dinner. Her mom gave me some seasoned cauliflower, which I didn't like. Not wanting to dissapoint my girlfriend's mom, I slipped the cauliflower of my plate and gave it to their dog. It turns out cauliflower gives their dog explosive diarrhea. FML

#3502310
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12951) - you deserved it (53140)

On 07/05/2009 at 11:23am - animals - by BigBallah93 - China (Beijing)

Today, my crush came to my house to watch movies with me. We were sitting on the couch when he turned to me and said that he had had a dream about me the night before. I moved in to kiss him, thinking he liked me. He then added that I had fallen of a cliff and he had pissed himself laughing. FML

#2853235
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51975) - you deserved it (6421)

On 06/13/2009 at 7:01am - love - by Mojo_Jojo (woman) - China (Beijing)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She later came into the T-Mobile that I work at to return the Sidekick that I bought for her. I had to transfer her account to a new Iphone. She got the Iphone from her new boyfriend, who works across the street from me. FML

#2073712
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66935) - you deserved it (4677)

On 05/19/2009 at 4:09am - love - by SKuser (man) - China (Beijing)

Today, I got my medical checkup back. Apparently, I'm diagnosed with a liver condition generally found in alcoholics. I've never drank in my life. FML

#2043570
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61468) - you deserved it (3553)

On 05/18/2009 at 4:48am - health - by esk (man) - China (Shanghai)

Today, I was walking to find a public toilet in a Chinese village. While looking for the women's restroom, I stepped on a thin sheet of plastic. I fell into the toilet's waste collection area and found myself knee-deep in the villagers' faeces. FML

#1897379
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69778) - you deserved it (5601)

On 05/13/2009 at 5:49am - misc - by pooped (woman) - China (Beijing)



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