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FMLs submitted from Canada

Today, I brought a boy home for the first time, only to have my dad ask him what his mother's maiden name was. When he answered, my dad exclaimed, "Oh yeah! I think I dated her in high school. I could be your father!" FML

#21468418
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25887) - you deserved it (1691)

On 09/14/2015 at 3:54pm - love - by meunluckycharms - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got excited about finishing up my laundry detergent and softener, because I could get new ones. FML

#21468066
73 comments

Today, I told to my girlfriend of 5 years that I'm depressed about having no friends, no job and a difficult family life. I told her that she's the one constant that keeps me going. She decided this was a good time to break up with me to "find" herself, since I was being so mopey. FML

#21467309
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24519) - you deserved it (3534)

On 09/11/2015 at 2:49pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after coming home from a long day at work, I found out that in a house full of 5 adults, some rules still need to be set. The newest addition to the rules: No watching porn and jerking off in the living room. FML

#21466769
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26403) - you deserved it (2060)

On 09/10/2015 at 2:09am - intimacy - by smh - Canada

Today, I got a date after being alone for the past 2 years. The girl who my friends set me up with began asking my monthly income, my current occupation, and asked if I have a credit card account. FML

#21466052
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25795) - you deserved it (1897)

On 09/08/2015 at 8:35am - love - by anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the girl I've gone on two dates with showed up at my house with several boxes of her stuff, expecting to move in. FML

#21465097
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30940) - you deserved it (2467)

On 09/06/2015 at 1:38am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I decided to bike to work. I normally forget the key to my lock, so I leave it out back and hope that nobody takes it, and nobody does. I finally remembered my lock key so I chained it up. After my 7 hour shift, I walk to the back only to find the lock had been cut, and my bike was gone. FML

#21464905
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24352) - you deserved it (1834)

On 09/05/2015 at 2:47pm - work - by Blue_Heart - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to visit my mom and my 3-month-old sister. I picked the baby up, totally unaware that she had just eaten. As I went to give her a kiss, she vomited straight into my mouth. Let's just say she wasn't the only one who puked. FML

#21464517
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22181) - you deserved it (2666)

On 09/04/2015 at 1:46pm - kids - by brittsters (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I let my 9-year-old daughter use my tablet while I made her dinner. A few minutes later, she let out a blood-curdling scream. Turned out she'd searched for My Little Pony pictures and stumbled upon a drawing of Rainbow Dash giving another pony a blowjob. FML

#21463707
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26924) - you deserved it (4693)

On 09/02/2015 at 11:26am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I went to the orthodontist, and found out when I was supposed to get my braces off. His exact words, "You'll get them off around Christmas... but we're not sure what year." FML

#21463569
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23672) - you deserved it (1607)

On 09/01/2015 at 11:55pm - health - by KenzoBVB - Canada

Today, I put aside my weekend plans to help my aunt with the extermination guy spraying her new house down to prevent cockroaches. After he left, my aunt asked me to go in and turn off the lights because the fumes were very deadly. If I chose not to, she would tell my mom I did nothing all day. FML

#21462982
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24303) - you deserved it (1928)

On 08/31/2015 at 1:17pm - health - by Rakib (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was talking to my mom about my issues with my girlfriend. While she was sympathizing, she slowly picked up my wallet, took $100 and left. FML

#21462595
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23412) - you deserved it (2092)

On 08/30/2015 at 2:29pm - money - by FranchezDeVista (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realized I could make more money being on welfare than I can at my current job. FML



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