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FMLs submitted from Canada

Today, feeling in need of a self-esteem boost, I took what I thought was a good selfie and I put it on Facebook. Out of 500 friends, the only response I got was a picture of Saddam Hussein with the caption, "This is why I bomb people." FML

#21370942
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29371) - you deserved it (7303)

On 03/09/2015 at 2:01am - misc - by why they bomb - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I sent a picture to my best friend of the shoes I want to wear to prom. She replied, "Wow those are so unique". I guess she forgot that last week she told me she only uses the word unique when she hates something. FML

#21370634
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27260) - you deserved it (2876)

On 03/08/2015 at 5:49pm - misc - by uglyshoegirl - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to sit and smile as a drunk lady ranted about how body hair on a woman is disgusting and unfeminine, then in the next breath say that only pedos like women who shave their vaginas. That's the last time I ever have dinner with my boyfriend's parents. FML

#21369265
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28964) - you deserved it (2106)

On 03/06/2015 at 11:51am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, during a family game of "Cards Against Humanity," I had to explain to my mom what queefing is. FML

Today, I got into an accident. As I was talking to a police officer about what happened, the tow truck driver managed to take my car and drive away, leaving me with no phone or wallet. I just spent an hour walking home in a hail storm. FML

#21368246
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28941) - you deserved it (2471)

On 03/04/2015 at 8:18pm - misc - by neverforgetyourphone - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML

#21367801
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42390) - you deserved it (3479)

On 03/04/2015 at 2:55am - intimacy - by Highnapple - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got a new job and told everyone about it. A few hours later, I got an email from the executive saying I actually don't have the job anymore. FML

#21366823
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26520) - you deserved it (2340)

On 03/02/2015 at 8:42pm - work - by dontplaywithmyfeelings - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while laughing at a jogger that fell down while running, I choked on my French fries. They had to give me the Heimlich maneuver. FML

#21366627
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13962) - you deserved it (48821)

On 03/02/2015 at 3:40pm - health - by teapotrevolt - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, the doctor let me know I have an autoimmune disease. The disease results in ulcers in my colon which bleed when I poop. I cried, but only when I was told that I wouldn't be allowed to eat cheese anymore. FML

#21364143
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29961) - you deserved it (2666)

On 02/26/2015 at 7:20pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I T-boned a woman who pulled out of a parking lot right in front of me. According to her, the accident was my fault because she "didn't see" me. FML

Today, I greeted my girlfriend with a spinning hug. She got motion sickness and threw up all over me. FML

#21362603
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28685) - you deserved it (8238)

On 02/24/2015 at 2:02pm - love - by hamboneghost (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got laid off. I abandoned my friends, my boyfriend and moved 10 hours away for this job because my uncle convinced me to. My uncle is my employer. FML

#21361965
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30383) - you deserved it (4278)

On 02/23/2015 at 6:52pm - work - by now what - Canada

Today, a woman yelled at me for holding a door open for her. FML

#21361801
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32081) - you deserved it (3041)

On 02/23/2015 at 3:18pm - misc - by Wutdafuqq (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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