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FMLs submitted from Canada

Today, I found my boyfriend and his friends laughing hysterically and practically choking on popcorn. They were watching a video of me in a school play, trying to sing while sobbing because I'd just pissed my pants in front of 200 people. Thanks for giving him the video, mom. FML

#21422192
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31014) - you deserved it (2524)

On 06/07/2015 at 5:46am - misc - by .......... (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I learned that not only do wood ticks have a habit of dropping off of branches onto you as you walk under them, they also like to hang out in groups of five or six. FML

#21421750
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24405) - you deserved it (1941)

On 06/06/2015 at 12:19pm - animals - by seadrick (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, after handing over the cash to buy my sister's car off her, she refused to sign any of the paperwork, and later put an ad on Craigslist selling the same car. I got scammed by my own sister. FML

Today, while going for a walk, I saw two bunnies next to the road. Apparently, I was scarier than the oncoming traffic, because one of them decided to sprint into the road as I walked by. I could hear its bones crunch as it got hit by a car. FML

#21420534
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27569) - you deserved it (2716)

On 06/04/2015 at 1:17am - animals - by avatarnicole9 (woman) - Canada

Today, I'm warning you: never spoon naked with your girlfriend after eating taco bell. The shartpocalypse just might begin in her ass and end on your stomach. FML

#21420039
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30231) - you deserved it (4305)

On 06/03/2015 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it's been so long since I had sex that even in my sex dreams I'm watching porn alone. FML

Today, I had to explain to my little sister that not all guitars are supposed to have a hole in them, that when I was talking about "breaking it in" I didn't mean I'd smash a hole in it, and that she shouldn't have taken a hammer to my expensive new guitar. FML

#21417642
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27305) - you deserved it (2638)

On 05/29/2015 at 3:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend threatened to break up with me because I crossed the street without holding her hand. FML

#21417560
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28966) - you deserved it (3706)

On 05/29/2015 at 11:05am - love - by GlueAndCarrots - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was on the train going to work when my travel tea cup began spilling inside my purse, which was on my lap. It went all over my skirt, pooled at the bottom of my feet, and, yes, everyone notice that it happened to be piss-colored yellow. FML

#21417508
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26072) - you deserved it (4295)

On 05/29/2015 at 8:13am - misc - by Great (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up in my living room after having a party. I then realized my fish tank with many different species was missing from its usual spot. After searching for a few minutes, I finally found it in the freezer. FML

#21415477
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27163) - you deserved it (7423)

On 05/25/2015 at 12:10pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while serving a customer, she told me: "God made you a working class citizen so you could serve! If God wanted you to go to college, he would have made sure you were able to go!" FML

Today, my cat has decided she can't eat unless I'm right there with her, so when she gets hungry she finds me and howls until I follow her to her food dish. She likes to eat pretty frequently, and I'm already getting a headache. FML

Today, my father passed away. I called my boss to let him know about the situation. His only response before hanging up: "Shit, dude. Well, I'll see you in the morning, these reports won't write themselves." FML

#21414400
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32378) - you deserved it (1834)

On 05/23/2015 at 10:50am - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)



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