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FMLs submitted from Canada

Today, I fell asleep while using my laptop. The next thing I know, it's 8am and my dad is screaming at me for posting "u skank-ass cunt-face" on my mom's Facebook timeline. I never made that post, but he won't believe me. My asshole brother, meanwhile, can't stop smirking at me. FML

#21502182
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22379) - you deserved it (2296)

On 12/10/2015 at 8:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went to get minor surgery done. I have anxiety and a phobia of needles, so they gave me laughing gas. It gave me a panic attack. FML

Today, my partner and I got called out to a domestic disturbance. Things turned ugly while we were en-route. Long story short, I now know how many grown men it takes to lift a nearly 400lb shit-covered woman onto a stretcher. I almost reconsidered my choice of career. FML

#21500205
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21315) - you deserved it (1621)

On 12/04/2015 at 10:43pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I burped in front of my crush. Well, not really in front of him. I turned around mid-burp and noticed him, not knowing anyone was there. The surprise made me scream a little, which only amplified the burp. So I made this mighty belch-turned-scream noise, while maintaining eye contact with him. FML

#21499543
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18550) - you deserved it (2162)

On 12/03/2015 at 12:33am - love - by killmenow - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I realized how much of an invisible artist I am when I got a little excited when someone stole my art. FML

Today, my mother went through my bag and found what she thought was rolling papers. I was yelled at and called a stupid pothead with no future. They were facial blotting papers. FML

#21498753
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22207) - you deserved it (1465)

On 11/30/2015 at 10:52pm - health - by ugh - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my 5-year-old son put my car keys in the microwave thinking that they would 'warm up' my car. FML

#21498607
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22234) - you deserved it (2298)

On 11/30/2015 at 4:27pm - kids - by jimmy - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mom tried to burn my arm with a hot spatula, all because I got a tattoo against her wishes. FML

#21497634
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21857) - you deserved it (5228)

On 11/27/2015 at 9:38pm - misc - by Wtfbruhimmovingout (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my stepmom asked me to bake pies for a dinner party she was having. Since I love baking, I said yes. When I went to deliver the pies, I found out they were for a family dinner I wasn't invited to. FML

#21497528
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24383) - you deserved it (1412)

On 11/27/2015 at 3:21pm - misc - by anon - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my dad went to a hardware store to replace the broken shower head in my bathroom. He got the cheapest shower head he could find, and so when I took a shower, the shower head burst out and hit me square in the face. FML

#21497110
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24790) - you deserved it (1996)

On 11/26/2015 at 3:24pm - money - by NoBasement4U - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boss fired three of the four other people who were going to work with me on Black Friday in my department. Now it's just me and a new hire. My boss doesn't see a problem. FML

#21496727
69 comments

Today, I learned that I cannot cook or clean in my kitchen because it's too noisy for my neighbour. Every time I do, she bangs on the wall. FML

#21496464
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20717) - you deserved it (1400)

On 11/24/2015 at 9:59pm - misc - by anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my mother refused to buy a cat because my sister is allergic to them. She bought a rabbit instead. I'm allergic to rabbits. FML

#21496419
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23449) - you deserved it (1393)

On 11/24/2015 at 8:01pm - animals - by anonymous - Canada



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