FMLs submitted from Canada

Today, I went to see a hockey game. The announcer asked if anybody found a ring in the stands, because a girl lost hers. While he talked about it, I realised that I forgot mine in my pocket, so I took MY ring and put it on my finger. A guy saw me and thought I stole the lost one. FML

by anon / 04/27/2016 at 12:13pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that someone found my lost library card, and instead of returning it, took out multiple items. If they don't return them, I'm on the hook to paying over $100 for them. FML

by bookbroke / 04/26/2016 at 12:27am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Money

Today, once again someone pointed out how much my brother and boyfriend look alike. FML

by tellyc / 04/25/2016 at 10:36pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I crawled under a table to plug a new lamp. When I tried to get up, I hit my head on the corner of the same table, getting me my fourth concussion in three years for trying to plug a f***ing lamp. FML

by Anonymous / 04/25/2016 at 4:37pm / Canada (Quebec) / Health

Today, I arrived for the two-week scuba diving vacation I spent months saving, planning, and looking forward to. Today, I also developed an ear infection and can't scuba dive for 2 weeks. FML

by nonnie31 / 04/25/2016 at 3:17pm / Canada (Alberta) / Health

Today, I overheard a "friend" talking about me and my recently deceased dog. He said: "Only time I've seen someone get that upset over someone dying, they were fucking each other. Just sayin'." FML

by Anonymous / 04/22/2016 at 2:50pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I lost the key to my bike lock. I ended up having to cut it off, even though it was brand new. After spending 30 minutes hacking away at it, it finally came off. When I hopped onto my bike, I felt something poking my leg. My key was in my pocket the whole time. FML

by _aPerson_ / 04/22/2016 at 11:58am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I celebrated my friend's birthday. While everyone was completely wasted, a couple of friends suggested that I throw a pie in the birthday boy's face. Only seconds after doing so did I realize that the centre of the pie had still been burning hot, since he screamed in agony. FML

by UnluckyLatina / 04/21/2016 at 11:30pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, my roommates had a party while I stayed in my room, and that was fine by me. What was not fine was when a stranger broke into my room, asked to lay next to me, and then just went ahead and did it. FML

by sociallyanxiousroomie / 04/19/2016 at 6:22am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I ran up to my boyfriend to kiss him when he got home from work. I tripped and I fell on him, and he fell backwards. He ended up hitting his head on the sidewalk and had to get stitches. He also had a concussion. FML

by Clumsy Clumsy / 04/16/2016 at 12:27pm / Canada (Alberta) / Health

Today, I came to class, prepared with my notes for the debate we were having today. My teacher then told me that I would be representing the opposite side I chose, despite her saying we could choose our own sides. This happened minutes before the debate started, and my notes were useless. FML

Today, I found out that my husband has more topless pictures of his ex on his computer than he does of me. FML

by SureDoesMakeAGirlFeelGood / 04/12/2016 at 9:45pm / Canada (Newfoundland) / Intimacy

Today, I was taking a dump at work at a nursing home. While reaching for the toilet paper, I accidently pushed the emergency button. The nursing supervisors broke into the washroom to help. FML

by Crap / 04/12/2016 at 12:48pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work