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FMLs submitted from Canada

Today, I got a cute girl's number for the first time. Too bad it was because she rear ended my car. FML

#21344494
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25099) - you deserved it (2405)

On 01/26/2015 at 10:48am - misc - by Anonomous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my cat had the bright idea of giving birth in the dryer, on top of all my new white towels. FML

#21344486
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25470) - you deserved it (5181)

On 01/26/2015 at 10:21am - animals - by HannaMD - Canada

Today, I had pizza for lunch. Later, I passed out in front of a customer. Now I get to explain to my boss that I fainted on the job because of heartburn. FML

#21344355
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22900) - you deserved it (3926)

On 01/26/2015 at 1:55am - work - by Thisismylife (woman) - Canada

Today, my dad uploaded his porn collection onto our family server. My mom was convinced I did it and sat me down for a long talk. FML

#21343084
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29026) - you deserved it (2013)

On 01/23/2015 at 8:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend uploaded a pic to snapchat that said "the love of my life." It was a pic of our beautiful baby girl. Then he uploaded another pic that said "the 2nd love of my life." It was a pic of the fuel truck he drives for work. FML

#21342658
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29218) - you deserved it (3747)

On 01/23/2015 at 1:33am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while walking to work, I sneezed so violently that I slipped on a patch of ice and hit the ground hard, badly spraining my shoulder. I lay there in agony as a pair of bystanders just stood there, laughing their asses off. FML

#21340378
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29168) - you deserved it (2788)

On 01/19/2015 at 5:07pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I saw a little old lady trying to cross the street. I went over and tried to help her. Turned out she was actually just a really short young woman. As soon as I took her arm, she screamed in front of everyone and accused me of trying to molest her. FML

#21339220
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27736) - you deserved it (7299)

On 01/17/2015 at 10:45pm - misc - by Help Me (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my husband confessed that when he's angry with me, he uses my makeup sponge to apply his hemorrhoid cream. FML

#21336401
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33019) - you deserved it (3580)

On 01/13/2015 at 12:42pm - love - by Maiar (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, a guy called me out of the blue. Apparently, he'd copied my number from a sheet we'd filled out in church. He doesn't understand why I'm "overreacting". FML

#21335287
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27615) - you deserved it (3394)

On 01/11/2015 at 7:39pm - love - by janegeorge (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I accidentally sent my teacher a picture of me in my boyfriend's boxers instead of my essay. FML

#21334385
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24714) - you deserved it (18809)

On 01/10/2015 at 9:35am - misc - by kb (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend gave me my first ever orgasm. Then he bitched me out for insulting his intelligence, saying it was "blatantly fake" and that "women don't orgasm like that". FML

#21334061
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33385) - you deserved it (2720)

On 01/09/2015 at 6:09pm - intimacy - by good2know (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my father was playing with my son and his toy animals. He picked one up and said, "What is this? Some kind of African horse?" It was a zebra. FML

Today, one of my friends posted on Facebook saying if you're held up at an ATM, putting your PIN in backwards will alert the cops. I pointed out it's an urban legend, and asked how it'd work if their PIN was the same backwards. He drove over and beat the crap out of me. FML

#21332664
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34454) - you deserved it (5131)

On 01/07/2015 at 12:07pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)



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