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FMLs submitted from Canada

Today, I found out my girlfriend's password for okcupid is "i_love_mike". My name is not Mike. FML

#5894
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23954) - you deserved it (2352)

On 02/03/2009 at 3:49am - love - by 751920 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I received an email invitation to a dating web site. It was from my father-in-law. FML

#5881
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37957) - you deserved it (2616)

On 02/03/2009 at 2:54am - intimacy - by Mavis (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was masturbating to a girl with huge tits on the internet. I then scrolled down and found out she had a penis. FML

#4860
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8217) - you deserved it (49351)

On 02/01/2009 at 5:17pm - intimacy - by Noname - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I talked to my boss about the fact that I have been diagnosed as bipolar and I am having a really hard time with it. He told me to look on the bright side, now that I'm crazy I will never have to do Jury Duty. FML

#4725
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19588) - you deserved it (2961)

On 02/01/2009 at 1:08pm - health - by crazymuch - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had a wet dream. When I woke up, I was touching myself. Unfortunately, I also woke up to find that I had fallen asleep on the couch after eating too much at a family reunion. When I looked around the room, over 10 relatives were giving me nasty looks. FML

#4708
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33485) - you deserved it (7241)

On 02/01/2009 at 12:29pm - misc - by frankrizzo - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my best friend was crying because her boyfriend is a retard. I brought my thumb up to wipe a tear off her face, and somehow stuck it up her nose. FML

#4457
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19344) - you deserved it (9483)

On 02/01/2009 at 3:11am - love - by FractalSanity - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was waiting after work in a parking lot for my ride and was dancing a little to keep warm. Next thing I know the cops pull up to me and said that someone called in to report someone dancing in an empty parking lot. FML

#4312
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20493) - you deserved it (2310)

On 01/31/2009 at 7:01pm - misc - by HumanNature - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me and while trying to make a dramatic exit, I slammed his car door, slipped on the ice and landed on my back in front of a large crowd of onlookers. FML

#4066
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16196) - you deserved it (6359)

On 01/31/2009 at 10:30am - love - by kill me - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I was woken up by my roommates cat meowing so loudly at her door, wanting in. Suddenly it stopped. I was just falling back into sleep when I rolled over and the cat was right there beside my head. Meowing. FML

#3778
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14281) - you deserved it (2179)

On 01/30/2009 at 1:18pm - animals - by Noname - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was on a date with this girl. I attempted to put my arm around her, but I elbowed her in the face instead. FML

#3587
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18211) - you deserved it (6128)

On 01/30/2009 at 6:39am - misc - by Anon - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had a stomach virus, so I didn't eat anything. My new roommate asked me if I was anorexic and to prove I wasn't, I ate a sandwich in front of her... Only to go into the bathroom and throw it up later. She heard and now thinks I'm bulimic. FML

#3525
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17965) - you deserved it (4601)

On 01/29/2009 at 10:26pm - misc - by IEatDammit - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to the doctor to talk about my depression and low self-esteem. He told me that I shouldn't think of myself as a fat pig for being overweight. I don't think that and I'm NOT overweight. FML

#3462
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20493) - you deserved it (2614)

On 01/29/2009 at 5:46pm - health - by Coley - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, when I was at my girlfriend's house, I farted and blamed it on the cat. I forgot the cat died 2 weeks ago. FML

#3203
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4093) - you deserved it (25118)

On 01/28/2009 at 8:05pm - animals - by kittydead - Canada (Ontario)



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