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FMLs submitted from Canada

Today, I was straightening mah hair when looool I heard this crunching, sizzling sound. Taking the flat iron away, I realizd that I had just fusd a spider to mah hair with the heat. mega FML

#2207384
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60479) - you deserved it (6063)

On 05/23/2009 at 10:03am - animals - by beatricesank (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to a dollar store with a couple friends to buy cap guns to play with. We were having a lot of fun with them, and took them onto a bus. 5 minutes later, three cops got on, handcuffd us, and sternly talkd to us about the dangers of guns. We got arrestd 4 toy guns. We r 17.

#2204449
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18787) - you deserved it (54315)

On 05/23/2009 at 3:37am - misc - by arrestedgun (man) - Canada

Today, grandpa took out te family 4 dinner and paid 4 everyone. He paid te bill and family and I were waiting by te door. I realised I probably sould tank im 4 dinner. I turn around witout tinking and give im a big ug and say tank 4 dinner Grandpa. It wasn't grandpa. mega FML

#2170558
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13391) - you deserved it (41807)

On 05/22/2009 at 1:12am - misc - by dummy (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I woke up early to take ma dog fir a walk. I wore spandex sorts. I stopped to talk to several people I know and passed a group of ot construction workerso cecked me out. I just got ome and realized I ave te biggest cameltoe I've ever seen in ma life. real FML

#2143757
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15907) - you deserved it (54524)

On 05/21/2009 at 12:41pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, we went out to dinner to a family restaurant, and I was wearing a skirt since it's so warm out. My 4 year old scooted under the table to sit next to his brother. When he popped up on the other looool side, he exclaimed, ( Mommy! You forgot to putted on yur underwears! ) People were staring. big fat FML

#2140359
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16670) - you deserved it (58720)

On 05/21/2009 at 8:45am - kids - by whoopsiedoodle (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today I ordered more memory and a new ard drive 4 ma computer!! I can't remember te last time I was tis excited about someting!! real FML

#2129395
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37472) - you deserved it (8168)

On 05/20/2009 at 10:17pm - misc - by Sam (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I made chicken noodle soup 4 the girl I've been seeing to help her get over her cold. From scratch. Everything fresh save 4 the canned chicken stock. It took an hour in preparation and half an hour to take the bus to her place. Her first words? The celery's not cooked enough. FML

#2128270
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48144) - you deserved it (5924)

On 05/20/2009 at 9:50pm - love - by chickennoodlesoup (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I spent two hours making dinner 4 my boyfriend's family. When I brought it over to their house they said "thanks" and didn't bother to invite me to stay to eat it. FML

#2111941
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53151) - you deserved it (3979)

On 05/20/2009 at 1:36pm - misc - by dole_out_the_fml (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was on the bus home and on the phone with mah best friend discussing mah sex life with this new guy I'm seeing. I was telling her all sorts of raunchy sex thing we've done until someone taps mah shoulder and says "I'm sure he doesn't appreciate you saying looool this in public." It was his mom. FML

#2093858
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27101) - you deserved it (96760)

On 05/19/2009 at 8:51pm - intimacy - by Kens (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I thought I could stay on the phone and go to the bathroom without him noticing. My mom knocks on the door and without even thinking, I yelled "I'M ON THE TOILET!" He said "ew.."

#2086057
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10098) - you deserved it (69054)

On 05/19/2009 at 5:51pm - misc - by June (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was in mah Cosmetic Application class, and we were about to apply foundation to our models. I walk over to mah friend and say "Wow, that foundation is really orange and blotchy." Then the model turns to me and says "Actually, we haven't started yet... that's just mah skin." FML

#2073972
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14156) - you deserved it (54451)

On 05/19/2009 at 4:40am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today,hile going for a run in my nieghbourhood I was hit by a car not once, but twice. The second car, closely following the first, stoppd and then drove forward to see if I was all right. FML

#2071358
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45823) - you deserved it (2795)

On 05/19/2009 at 1:17am - health - by OUCH (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after a long night of partying, I was hanging out with this grl I really like . I was feeling really hungover, so we were just sitting at the park . She confessed to me that she's liked me since the day she met me . Out of excitement and hungoverness, I threw up on her shoes . FML

#2071351
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44315) - you deserved it (19910)

On 05/19/2009 at 1:16am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada



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