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FMLs submitted from Canada

Today, when my boyfriend reffered to my hair, I told him I was going to dye it. He responded by saying, "finally, so how much you going for, 40, maybe 50 pounds?". I said dye it, not diet. FML

#810319
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52978) - you deserved it (7841)

On 04/05/2009 at 12:17am - misc - by lifestinks - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at my job as a cashier, a man and his 3-year old son got in line. The father said, "Give this to the pretty lady," looking at me. The kid looks at me, looks at his dad, and walks over to the next cashier. FML

#806381
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57601) - you deserved it (2884)

On 04/04/2009 at 9:07pm - kids - by Nottheprettylady (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband and I were watching TV. An info-mercial came on for a diamond cross necklace that had the lord's prayer engraved inside of it. As the commercial ended I said, "who in their right mind would actually buy that?" Turns out, my husband would, for our anniversary. FML

#804765
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40292) - you deserved it (19831)

On 04/04/2009 at 7:34pm - misc - by ALLALA (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I logged onto my computer to access a video from my porn stash. However, the folder was empty except for my favourite file. Thinking that a virus deleted everything, I was thankful my favourite file remained. When I opened it, I saw a video of my parents telling me not to masturbate. FML

#797956
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85949) - you deserved it (4760)

On 04/04/2009 at 10:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I took my son for a walk to tell him about the passing of our family dog. As we were walking by the river, Ozzy (our deceased dog) was laying on the riverbank. My son thought he just ran away and we found him. Turns out my husband was too cheap to pay the 100$ vet disposal fees. FML

#796743
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67322) - you deserved it (4904)

On 04/04/2009 at 5:19am - animals - by cheaphubbyswife - Canada (Northwest Territories)

Today, a really cute guy sat across from me on the bus. He smiled at me, then tensed his muscles and lifted a heavy bag with one arm. Thinking he was trying to act "macho" to impress me, I rolled my eyes and threw him an annoyed/disgusted look. When he got off, I realized he only had one arm. FML

#795455
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7057) - you deserved it (58847)

On 04/04/2009 at 2:05am - misc - by OrangeTree12 - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my siblings came home for the weekend. At dinner, my dad started complaining at how one of my siblings had gotten fired, one was failing college, and the other was gay. He went on to say I was 17 and already had a bright future. I'm pregnant. FML

#792212
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41877) - you deserved it (48319)

On 04/03/2009 at 10:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I left the iron and ironing board in my room. While I was at school, my mom decided to do some ironing, and did it in my room for convenience. The iron needed water, so she took a water bottle from my dresser and poured it in. It was my secret vodka stash, and the iron caught on fire. FML

#782957
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20070) - you deserved it (68365)

On 04/03/2009 at 2:13pm - misc - by healey16 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I'm already a clumsy person but became extra clumsy because I was nervous. After knocking over my drink for the fourth time, my boyfriend's mom angrily shouted "Did you actually come drunk for the first time meeting us?" FML

#778324
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61061) - you deserved it (8093)

On 04/03/2009 at 2:10am - misc - by herANDi - Canada (Ontario)

Today, for about the fifth time, my neighbors parked blocking my driveway. After parking across the street I stuck a note on their windshield reading “Nice park job asshole“, only to find out that their nephew just passed away and everyone was gathering to go to the viewing. FML

#765740
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23182) - you deserved it (47454)

On 04/02/2009 at 12:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I passed the girl I like a note asking her out, signed Mark H. She picked it up, read it, turned around and asked me, "Do you know who Mark H. is?" FML

#761502
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64774) - you deserved it (6696)

On 04/02/2009 at 1:35am - misc - by SupaSu - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got up early to prank my family. I put a bucket of ice water on top of a door frame so whoever walked through would get an icy surprise. After I was done, I went back to bed. I woke up groggy and disoriented like always and walked right through the doorway I had rigged. FML

#742417
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14268) - you deserved it (146403)

On 04/01/2009 at 6:42am - misc - by blackvogue (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



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