FMLs submitted from Canada

Today, I found out that sitting in the third row at a 3D movie makes me vomit. Today I also found out that the big burly dude in front of me does not appreciate being vomited on. Now I feel nauseous and have a black eye. Not to mention I missed the last part of the movie. FML

by Queasy / 01/23/2010 at 7:15pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I refused to share a toothbrush with her. FML

by Anonymous / 01/23/2010 at 11:14am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, while grooming my horse, a spider crawled onto my ear. As if that was bad enough, I'm extremely arachnophobic, so I shrieked out of habit, which in turn caused my horse to freak out and kick me. FML

Today, I was lying on the couch after having surgery on my stomach. My best friend and my mom thought that laughter would be the best medicine. Due to their medicine, I ripped out half my stitches. FML

by Anonymous / 01/22/2010 at 5:08pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I ran 5 miles to catch the bus I take to university after missing my connection. When I got to the bus stop, I realized I had left my U-Pass on my desk at home. On top of the assignment that was due. FML

by noooooo / 01/22/2010 at 2:32am / Canada (British Columbia) / Transportation

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, all because whenever I laugh I say "lol." FML

by heartbroken / 01/21/2010 at 8:18pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I learned the hard way why they say "four on the floor" at school. I leaned too far back while rocking in the chair and fell off. I grabbed the desk to save myself and it came down too. FML

by jalapeno_popper / 01/21/2010 at 3:16pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was the only girl in my lab class. The instructor was learning our names. When he came to me, I went to say "mine will be easy" and it came out as "I'm easy." FML

by Anonymous / 01/21/2010 at 9:29am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I'm a cashier in a grocery store. The visiting regional manager tore me a new one for being lazy. His reason? After working a double shift with no break, I decided to sit down for a minute when things got slow. FML

by Bob / 01/21/2010 at 8:33am / Canada (Alberta) / Work

Today, during an episode of King of Queens that my boyfriend has seen more than once, I decided I'd try to get a little frisky. I straddled him while he was on the bed and began taking my clothes of. He pushed me out of the way and said, 'don't get naked in front of the TV.' FML

by Anonymous / 01/21/2010 at 12:28am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I found a piece of rice in my belly button. I can't remember the last time I ate or handled rice. FML

by kerry / 01/20/2010 at 12:30am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I received a message from front desk that my concerned father is trying to contact me. I call only to hear that my parents were freaking out that I wasn't answering my phone. They saw me 9 hours ago. They were going to call the police. I'm in college and also don't live with them anymore. FML

by over_protected / 01/18/2010 at 7:28am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I received a letter saying that I was accepted into university and that I qualified for a number of scholarships. Too bad an equivalent sum of money will be spent fixing the car I hit, after spinning out on ice, whilst driving home from said university. FML

by trooper93 / 01/18/2010 at 1:36am / Canada / Miscellaneous